Text Jokes / Recent Jokes

"This class was a religious experience for me... I had to take it all on faith."

"Text makes a satisfying `thud` when dropped on the floor."

"The class is worthwhile because I need it for the degree."

"His blackboard technique puts Rembrandt to shame."

"Textbook is confusing... Someone with a knowledge of English should proofread it."

"Have you ever fell asleep in class and awoke in another? That`s the way I felt all term."

"In class I learn I can fudge answers and get away with it."

"Keep lecturer or tenure board will be shot."

"The recitation instructor would make a good parking lot attendant. Tries to tell you where to go, but you can never understand him."

"Text is useless. I use it to kill roaches in my room."

"In class the syllabus is more important than you more...

A Harris Interactive poll found that 57% of Americans believe that sending text messages while driving should be banned- and only used in an emergency.

Such as:

OMG! I'm totally about to crash YGBSM!:o TTYL

Man comes in, in a panic. He had typed a document the day before, and now it was all gone. "Have you saved it properly?" was of course my first question. Yes, he said, it was saved properly. But all the text had mysteriously disappeared. On his disk, I found a completely empty document. Indeed it was saved, apparently, and indeed it did not contain text. Of course, he had saved the document right BEFORE he started typing. When it was finished, he took out his disk and shut down the computer. And now all that text was gone, even though he had SAVED! To top it all off, he got mad at ME when I told him the only thing he could do was retype the whole thing. Was I nuts or something?

Once Three Chimpanzees Escaped From A Zoo. The Zoo Authorities Lookrd From Them, One Was Found Playing Football, Second Was
Found Eating Pizza And The Third Was Found Reading This Text Message.

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour he is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad of recreations available.
He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, so he spends the next eon or so learning languages. After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pour over every version of the Bible, working back from most recent "Easy Reading" to the original script.
All of a sudden there is a scream in the library. The Angels come running in only to find the Pope huddled in his chair, crying to himself and muttering, "An' R'! The scribes left out the' R'." A particularly concerned Angel takes him aside, offering comfort, asks him what the problem is and what does he mean.
After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, "It's the letter' R'. They left out the' R'. The word was supposed to be CELEBRATE!"

The Associated Press reports that students are downloading a ring tone off the Internet that is too high-pitched to be heard by most adults. With it, high schoolers can receive text message alerts on their cell phones without the teacher knowing.
I've known about a special alert that adults can't hear for years now. It's called vibrate.
My mother's a teacher, and actually I'm happy about this setting. Sure she may lose control of a classroom full of texters, but it'll save me the 45 minute "how to open text messages" tutorial each time she confiscates a cell phone.

The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late. Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family.
A' smart' student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up. "But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?"
As you would expect, the class exploded in laughter. When the students had finally settled down, the professor froze the young man with a glaring look.
"Well," he responded, "I guess you'll just have to learn to write with your other hand."