Thief Jokes / Recent Jokes

F A L L S T O W N S H I P, Pa.? It looks like police have cracked the "Gumball Bandit" case.

"We know who did it," said Detective Charles T. Burdick of the Middletown Township police.

A surveillance operation led to the arrest of Aaron Ozlek on Saturday, Dec. 14. He was initially held on parole violation charges, but police said he would soon be charged in the string of attacks on area candy machines.

Evidence "related to the bubblegum burglaries was recovered" in Ozlek's home, police said in a statement.

In the course of several weeks in November and December, 26 gumball and candy dispensers were hit. The thief sometimes took the entire machines and sometimes just the change inside

In one incident, the Gumball Bandit smashed a service station's plate-glass window, causing $1, 800 worth of damage, in order to get at the sweets machine.

The candy-craving criminal also hit machines in the more...

A Master Thief in London was giving a Coaching Class on Stealing and had students from all over the world. The Indian happened to be a Sardar. After several grueling classes on Theory came the final and decisive class of all, a practical demo.
The master took all his pupils to a house nearby in the darkness of night and entered that. But by mistake he overturns a vase.
Owner: Who's that?
Master: Miaooow...
The owner is satisfied and goes back to sleep. Mission accomplished.
The Sardar is very impressed. Returning to Punjab, he decides to open a similar class for his fellow Sardars. Does so and follows the same schedule of theory classes.
Then he goes for the demo with his pupils. Enters the house of a rich Sardar in darkness, and tells the other Sardars, " These are the various steps for stealing. You just observe. " Firstly, he goes and overturns a vase.
Owner: Koun Hai? ( Who's that? )
Sardar: Mai Billi . ( I am the cat.)
Owner: Oh, more...

Tow Somali burglars broke into a house.
They heard the morning Azan (prayer calls) while stealing. One of them says: "Hurry up, we have to pray!".
The other unintentionally drops the Koran.
His friend yells out: "Damn it, what did you do?" Bang!... bang! He shoots him on the spot!