Thousand Jokes / Recent Jokes

Here is a short story to show you that the stodgy air traffic controllers and the flyers they serve can have a sense of humor:
The controller who was working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (to do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between aircraft).
The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?
Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth!"

A lady said, "I'd give a thousand dollars to the man who would worry for me!"
The man said, "You're on!. Now where is my thousand dollars?"
The lady said, "That is your first worry!"

An old man and his son had a one-horse farm where they barely made a living. Then, one day, the son hit the lottery and won ten million.
The young man rushed into town, collected his money, then hurried back home. He ran across the field, told his father the news, and handed the older man Rs one thousand.
The father looked at the money for a moment and then said, "Son, you know I've always been careful with what little money we had. I didn't spend it on liquor or women. In fact, I couldn't even afford the license to legally marry your Mom."
"Pa!" the young man stammered, "do you know what that makes me?"
"Yep," said the old man fingering the thousand rupees, "... and a cheap one, too."

A young man had seriously dated three girls and was finally faced with the dilemma of which to marry. As a test he gave each of them one thousand dollars.
The first girl went for a complete hair and face makeover, new clothes, and new shoes. She returned to show off her new look saying, “I want to be at my most beautiful for you. Why? Because I love you, dear. ”
The second girl returned with new hockey and golf equipment, a new stereo, VCR, and month’s supply of beer saying, “I bought all these things for you. They’re my gifts to you, because I love you so. ”
The third girl invested the $1, 000 wisely and very quickly doubled her original amount. She reinvested the profits which continued to multiply and returned the first thousand to the young man saying, “I have taken your money and made it grow as an investment in our future together. That’s how much I love you, my dear. ”
The young man was very impressed by all of their responses. He then gave more...

Golf Genie
A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said, "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix."
The wife teed up and shacked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses. Alright, let's go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost."
They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, "Come on in." They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man on the couch said, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that." the husband replied.
"No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me. I'm more...

A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune....

"One Texas soldier is better than ten Taliban"

The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune, whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes then silence.

The voice then calls out..... "One Texan is better than one hundred Taliban"

Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.

The Texan's voice calls out again.... "One Texan is better than one thousand Taliban"

The enraged Taliban commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannons, rockets and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.

Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with more...

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"

The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated loudly.

The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."

"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."