Thy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Thou shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.
Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
Thou shall not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are transparent.
Thou shall not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
Thou shall not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
Thou shall not lie down with thy butt in thy human`s face.
Thou shall not leap from great heights onto thy human`s genital region.
Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.
Thou shall not reset thy human`s alarm clock by walking on it.
Thou shall not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself.
Thou shall not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.
Thou shall not jump onto thy sleeping human`s bladder at 4a. m.
Thou shall realize that the more...

A Maulana, a Sardarji and a Maharashtrian Brahmin happened to be in a boat which sprang a leak. The boat began to fill with water and it looked all the three would be drowned. The Maulana prayed to Allah for help: "Great and mighty Allah! Thou art compassionate and merciful. Save thy faithful servant from doom. I promise to say many extra namaazes and observe many extra rozas (fasts) if my life is saved." Lo and behold! A hand stretched down from the heavens and lifted the Maulana from the sinking boat and dropped him safely on land.
The Sardarji raised his hands to the heavens and cried "Merciful Wahgurul Save thy faithful gursikh and I promise to have a hundred akhand paaths." Lo and behold! another hand stretched down from the heavens and lifted the Sardarji from the sinking boat and dropped him unharmed on the land.
It was the turn of the Maharashtrian Brahmin. He too raised his hands to the heavens and prayed to his favourite deity "O thou more...