Tie Jokes / Recent Jokes
1. EXCITABLE TYPE: Pants are twisted, can't find fly, rips pants in anger.
2. SOCIAL TYPE: Joins pals for a piss whether he wants to or not.
3. TIMID TYPE: Cannot piss if anyone is watching, in later.
4. NOISY TYPE: Whistles loudly while pissing, peeps over partition to take a look at other fellows'.
5. INDIFFERENT TYPE: All urinals occupied, pisses in the sink.
6. CLEVER TYPE: Pisses without holding tool in the hand, shows off by adjusting tie.
7. VAIN TYPE: Undoes five buttons to take out his tool when only two would do.
8. INTELLECTUAL TYPE: Opens vest, takes out tie and pisses in his pants.
9. ABSENT MINDED TYPE: Not quite sure what he has been upto lately, makes a furtive examination of his tool while pissing.
10. DISGUSTED TYPE: Stands for a while, farts, tries to piss but fails, farts again and stalks away muttering.
11. SNEAKY TYPE: Drops a silent fart while pissing, sniffs air and looks on the bloke on the left and more...
Yo Mama is so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it!
"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."
One student replied:
"You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."
This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed. The student appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.
For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead more...
An old man and his wife have gone to bed.
After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football!"
A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says -
"Touchdown, tie score!"
After about five minutes the old man farts again and says -
"Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7!"
Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, -
"Touchdown, tie score!"
Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says -
"Fieldgoal, I lead 17 to 14!"
Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed.
The wife looks and says, "What the heck more...
Dear Jokers who provide Yo mama jokes,
Please do not post yo mama jokes previously posted in this Joke Page.
It's a waste of your time, our time and bandwith.
Please read the following collection of YO MAMA SO FAT' jokes. Future
jokers, read this and if you can find something new about the fat mama
then submit your joke. (OLD MAMA, TALL MAMA, POOR MAMA etc.
will follow)
YO MAMA IS SO FAT
Yo mama so fat. . . she's fat!
Yo mama so fat God can't lift her spirits!
Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
Yo mama so fat God said "Let there be Light", and moved her fat ass.
Yo mama so fat I got rich by making her sit on coal.
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side!
Yo mama so fat I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back.
Yo mama so fat I saw her on top of the Empire State building snatching at airplanes.
Yo mama so fat I'm more...