Titles Jokes / Recent Jokes

MORE REJECTED CHILDRENS BOOK TITLES:
1. Juggling Knives is Easy
2. Where to Find the toys in the Oven
3. Where Mommy & Daddy Hide Neat Things
4. Kick, Scream, and Cry to Get What You Want
5. "Whatcha' Doin'" the Wonderful Phrase
6. 101 Games to Play in the Road
7. The Indoor Pool is a Big Potty and the Divingboard is the Flusher
8. Homemade Fireworks using a Bathtub, a Blowdryer, and a Fork
9. POP, goes the Hamster and other fun Microwave Games
10. Arthur Gets Hunted
11. Clifford and the Big and Yellow Semi
12. Monsters Killed Grandpa
13. The hit sequel to "Elvis is your real dad" Mrs.Clause is your real Mom
14. Chicken Poop for the Kid Soul
15. All Guns Squirt Water
16. When The Garbage Truck Came to Sesame Street
17. How Fun it is to Tie a Squirrel to a Kite
18. You Can Get Sucked Down the Drain
19. How to Make Sushi with Ordinary Goldfish
20. 101 recipies to make with Dog
21. If more...

MORE REJECTED CHILDRENS BOOK TITLES:1. Juggling Knives is Easy2. Where to Find the toys in the Oven3. Where Mommy & Daddy Hide Neat Things4. Kick, Scream, and Cry to Get What You Want5. "Whatcha' Doin'" the Wonderful Phrase6. 101 Games to Play in the Road7. The Indoor Pool is a Big Potty and the Divingboard is the Flusher8. Homemade Fireworks using a Bathtub, a Blowdryer, and a Fork9. POP, goes the Hamster and other fun Microwave Games10. Arthur Gets Hunted11. Clifford and the Big and Yellow Semi12. Monsters Killed Grandpa13. The hit sequel to "Elvis is your real dad" Mrs.Clause is your real Mom14. Chicken Poop for the Kid Soul15. All Guns Squirt Water16. When The Garbage Truck Came to Sesame Street17. How Fun it is to Tie a Squirrel to a Kite18. You Can Get Sucked Down the Drain19. How to Make Sushi with Ordinary Goldfish20. 101 recipies to make with Dog21. If its Storming out the Best Place to keep shelter is under a tree22. The New Boy is Bad23. Your Nightmares more...

Possible titles for Monica Lewinsky's new book
1. I Suck At My Job
2. What Really Goes Down In The White House
3. How I Blew It In Washington
4. You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President
5. Clear and Present Boner
6. Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule
7. Going Back for Gore
8. Podium Girl
9. Secret Services to the President
10. Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton
11. Deep Inside The Oval Office
12. The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions
13. She's Chief of MY Staff!
14. Al Gore Is In Command For The Next 30 Minutes
15. How To Beat Off the Government
16. Going Down and Moving Up
17. Members of the Presidential Cabinet
18. Me and My Big Mouth
19. How To Get Ahead in Business

Possible titles for Monica Lewinsky's new book1. I Suck At My Job2. What Really Goes Down In The White House3. How I Blew It In Washington4. You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President5. Clear and Present Boner6. Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule7. Going Back for Gore8. Podium Girl9. Secret Services to the President10. Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton11. Deep Inside The Oval Office12. The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions13. She's Chief of MY Staff! 14. Al Gore Is In Command For The Next 30 Minutes15. How To Beat Off the Government16. Going Down and Moving Up17. Members of the Presidential Cabinet18. Me and My Big Mouth19. How To Get Ahead in Business

Before the books were published, readers suggested titles for Monica's tell-all book:

* Me and My Big Mouth
* What Really Goes Down In The White House
* You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President
* How I Blew It In Washington
* Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule
* Going Back for Gore
* Secret Services to the President
* Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton
* The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions
* She's Chief of MY Staff!
* Al Gore Is In Command For The Next 30 Minutes
* Going Down and Moving Up
* Members of the Presidential Cabinet
* How To Get A head in Business
* I Wore What You Did Last Summer

Sometimes true life is more humorous than the jokes that are passed around and around. The following is an excerpt from an Associated Press article by David Sharp, that appeared in The Ithaca Journal yesterday, October 16, 1999.
Y2K turns cars into carriages.
PORTLAND, Maine - State government got its first Y2K surprise months early when owners of 2000 model cars and trucks received titles identifying their new vehicles as "horseless carriages".
Despite millions of dollars spent to ensure state computers are ready for the year 2000, computers in the secretary of state's office got confused over the 2000 model year designation.
As a result, some new vehicle owners or lien holders got titles to "horseless carriages" instead of cars or trucks in April. The case demonstrates the problems that can occur when computers misread the year 2000 as the year 1900, which is what happened in the secretary of state's office.
Since the computer thought the more...

These are NOT made up. These are the actual titles of Country Songs...

1. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In Bed
2. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth' Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
3. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
4. I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?
5. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
6. I Got In At 2 With a 10, And Woke Up At 10 With a 2
7. I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except For Mine
8. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
9. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
10. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
11. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
12. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonite
13. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
14. I've Got Tears in My Ears From Lying On My Back Crying my eyes out over you
15. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By more...