Toad Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q. Why did the farmer sell his frog leg ranch?
A. He found out it was a' rough toad to hoe.'

A widow was feeling rather lonely and decided that the best thing forher would be to have a companion. So, off she went to the pet shop.She wasn't sure just what kind of pet she'd like, so she figured she'djust walk around until she found just the 'right one.' She went pastthe adorable little puppies, past the playful kittens, past thepreening birds, past the sleeping hamsters, past the whirling gerbils, and past the colorful fish.Nothing really appealed to her and seemed to be just what she waslooking for. She decided to go around the store again.On the way over to the puppies, she walked by a barrel. At the bottomof the barrel was a rather nasty looking toad. When she looked in, heWINKED at her! Our poor widow just shook herself! She couldn'tbelieve it. She rather quickly went back to the other pets ondisplay.Once again, she checked out those sweet little puppies, the darlingkittens, the fluttering birds, the fuzzy hamsters, the sleek gerbils, and the darting fish. Nothing really, more...

Whats the difference between a regular toad and a horney toad? A regular toad croaks "Ribbit Ribbit" while a horney toad croaks "Rub-itRub-it"

# 16 Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a fifty thousand-word novel, "Gadsby," without any word containing the letter "e."
# 17 In a year, the average person walks four miles to make his or her bed.
# 18 In the first century, people used to drink goats milk to sweeten their breath.
# 19 In many of the milk ads that are shown, a mix of thinner and white paint is used instead of milk.
# 20 It is possible to get high by licking a toad. The Cane Toad produces a toxin called bufotenine to ward off predators. It acts as a hallucinogen.
# 21 In Las Vegas, casinos do not have any clocks.
# 22 There is a restaurant in Stockholm that only offers all-garlic products. They even have a garlic cheesecake.
# 23 Following directions off the Internet and chemicals obtained from a mail order company, a team of U.S. scientists created an identical copy of the polio virus.
# 24 The world's tallest free fall roller coaster is The Giant Drop located in more...

The Devil wanted a place on earth.
Sort of a summer home:
A place to spend his vacation
Whenever he wanted to roam.

So he picked out Arizona.
A place both wretched and rough.
Here the climate was to his liking
And the cowboys were hardened and tough.

He dried up the streams in the canyons
and ordered no rain to fall:
He dried up the lakes in the valleys,
Then baked and scorched it all.

Then over his barren desert
He transplanted shrubs from Hell.
The cactus, thistle and prickly pear --
The climate suited them well.

Now, the home was much to his liking.
But animal life, he had none:
So he created crawling creatures
That all mankind would shun.

First he made the rattlesnake.
With its forked poisonous tongue:
Taught it to strike and rattle
And how to swallow its young.

Then he made Scorpions and Lizards
And the ugly old Horned more...