Toliet Jokes

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor,' 'May I borrow a highlighter?''
2.' 'Uh-oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that.''
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4.' 'Hmmm, I've never seen that color before.''
5.' 'Damn, this water is cold.''
6. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.
7.' 'Now how did that get there?''
8.' 'Hummus. Reminds me of hummus.''
9. Fill up a large flask with Mountian Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,''Whoa! Easy boy!!''
10.' ' Interesting.... more sinkers than floaters''
11. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peaunt butter on a wad of toliet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say,''Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
12.' 'C'mon Mr. Happy! more...

Two guys go camping and once there, the one guy says "Hey man, did you bring any toliet paper"?
"No".
"What are we going to do, I really have to go"?
"Just use a dollar man". "You would spend that on toliet paper".
"Good Idea"!
So the guy goes behind the bush, does his business, comes back around the bush holding his ass, obviously in pain.
"Whats the matter"?
"Have you ever used three quarters, two dimes and a nickel to wipe your ass"!

your momma is so small that she needed a sticky hand to reach the toliet paper on the toliet.

There's an indian who walks into a 7-11 and asks if they have toliet paper. The clerk says yes and takes him to the approiate aisle. The indian asks "how much is this White Cloud toliet paper?" The clerk says "2. 49 a role." The Indian says "oh, no, too much!!" Then he asks "how much is the Scotts toliet paper?" The clerk says "1. 99 a role." The indian says, "oh, no, still too much!!!" Then he asks "how much is this no name toliet paper?" The clerk says ". 10 a role." The indian says "I'll take 10 roles." The indian goes home and comes back the next day. He says to the clerk "I have new name for no name toliet paper. John Wayne toliet paper, because it's rough, and tough, and doesn't take no shit from indians!"

a man and his friend called donkey (who had a stutter) went into a bar the man went to the bar and said to the barman, ill have a pint for me and a pint for donkey, the barman give him the 2 pints and after the man and his friend donkey drank them the man went to the toliet while the man was at the toliet his friend got the next drink he said to the barman, cccaannn i hh..ave 2 pints, the barman says, thats not fair the way he calls u donkey, donkey replies, heaw heaw he always calls me donkey.