Ton Jokes / Recent Jokes

After about 15 years of cold war between the Russians and the Chinese, Breznev finally decided to break the ice and offered to visit China then under Mao Tse Tung. After a red carpet reception they finally sat down to discuss business across the table (so to say). Here's how the conversation went. Breznev: Well as an offer of friendship I'll offer you some commodities you may need.
Mao: Thank you Mr. Brenev, we will accept your offer.
Breznev: What do you request then?
Mao: To begin with we would like a billion $ in hard currency.
Breznev: (after quickly consulting with his advisors) so be it
Mao: A million ton of steel
Breznev: O. k.
Mao: A million ton of potatoes.
Breznev: (a little surprised) o. k.
Mao: Two million tons of rice
Breznev: (After consulting his advisors) No, I'm quite sorry that is not possible!
Mao: (rather surprised by the emphatic No) Why not?
Breznev: (In a condescending tone) They don't grow rice in more...

'Twas just before Santy came,
the story is told.
Cattle weren't stirrin', fact they's
bunched against the cold.
The tack was hung near the
chuckwagon with care.
Why, we didn't know Santy was
close anywhere.
Cowboys on the ground were
wishin' for their beds
While nightmares of wild steers
ran through their heads.
'Tween now and the next gather,
we needed a nap.
Cookie had just finished, and
tied down the flap.
When out past the cavvy, there
rose such a fuss,
I sprang to my feet, leavin'
the bedroll a muss,
And grabbin' my shotgun and my
ragged ol' hat
I run t'ward the racket thinkin'
"... what'n thunder's that?"
When thoughts of amazement
through my head courses,
It was a buckboard teamed up
with draft horses,
A driver in red buckskins, so
spry and dainty,
I know'd in an instant, it
must be ol' Santy.
Quicker than more...