Tools Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient.I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower.Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a more...

Once upon a time, a man decided to vacation on a cruise ship
in the Caribbean. It was wonderful-the experience of his
life! He was waited upon hand and foot. But, alas, it did
not last. A hurricane came up suddenly and the ship went
down. The man found himself, he knew not how, swept up on the
shore of an island. There was nothing else anywhere to be
seen. No person, no supplies, nothing.
The man looked around. There were some bananas and coconuts,
but that was it. He was desperate and forlorn, but decided to
make the best of it. So for the next four months he ate
bananas, drank coconut juice and mostly looked to the sea
mightily for a ship to come to his rescue.
One day, as he was lying on the beach stroking his beard and
looking for a ship, he spotted movement out of the corner of
his eye. Could it be true, was it a ship? No, from around
the corner of the island came a rowboat. In it was the most
gorgeous woman he had more...