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( Apologies to all to whom this is not culturally relevant! )
A joke told to me by one of the staff at church on Sunday:
The somewhat old and crusty vicar was taking a well-earned retirement from
his rather old and crusty parish. As is usual in these cases, a locum was
sent to cover the transition period. This particular man was young and
active, and had the strange notion that church should also be active and
exciting. As a consequence he was more than a little disapointed with the
dull and tradition-bound church. He decided to do something about it.
For his first Sunday, he didn't wear the traditional robes and vestments,
but lead the service wearing a nice 2-piece suit. The congregation was
horrified! He changed the order of the service. The congregation was
horrified! Then came the children's lesson.
For this he came out of the pulpit, and sat on the communion table.
The congregation was mortified! He sat there more...

Are You About to Employ a Robot? This test was written by ME, Roger Carasso, for the UCB PsychologyDepartment. It is intended to be used by companies that arerecruiting on campus. With this test you can determine whether anapplicant you are interviewing is a Robot, a Vulcan/Math MAjor, or aLiberal Arts major. Tear off here, and administer test below to students
Answer Questions by circling the appropriate subjective choice.1. If stranded on a deserted island, I would want _____ 0) Shakespeare 1) Math books 2) Fluid oil2. If I could have any job, I would be a _____ 0) writer 1) professor 2) McDonald's employee3. On weekends, I go to _____ 0) The beach 1) The library 2) goto 104. My favorite hobby is _____ 0) Poetry 1) Open math problems 2) memorizing5. I have taken ______ English classes. 0) Many 1) Enough to communicate 2) fori=1to++x10goto106. What is the quickest way to solve 2X+4=2? 0) Ask a Vulcan 1) In my head 2) Brute force with Cray 2 Supercomputer7. What have you learned more...

Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.
One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.
Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.
In 1990, Chuck Norris founded the non-profit organization "Kick Drugs Out of America". If the organization's name were "Roundhouse Kick Drugs out of America", there wouldn't be any drugs in the Western Hemisphere. Anywhere.
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.
Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.
Chuck Norris was once on Jeopardy. This show is notable in that it was the first occasion in Jeopardy history that Alex Trebek had more...