Tourist Jokes / Recent Jokes

While out Sports Fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted: "Are there any gators around here!?"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "They ain't been around for years!"
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin,'" the beachcomber replied.
"Wow," said the tourist.
The beachcomber added, "The Sharks got 'em."

"I cant believe it," said the tourist. "Ive been here an entire week and its done nothing but rain. When do you have summer here?"

"Well, thats hard to say," replied the local. "Last year, it was on a Wednesday."

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, ‘I’m sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me!!
The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn’t realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.
The driver replied, ‘No, no, I’m sorry, it’s entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I’ve been driving a hearse for the last 25 years. ’

"And will there be anything else, sir?" the bellboy asked after setting out an elaborate dinner for two.

"No thank you," the gentleman replied.

"That will be all."

As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a beautiful satin negligee on the bed. "Anything for your wife? " he asked.

"Yeah! Thats a good idea," the fellow said. "Please bring up a postcard."

Police Officer: Why did you lead me on a five-state chase?

Driver: I love to travel.

A tour guide was showing a tourist around Washington, D. C. The guide pointed out the place where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar across the Potomac River."That's impossible," said the tourist. "No one could throw a coin that far!""You have to remember," answered the guide. "A dollar went a lot farther in those days."

Tourist: Is this 99 Main Street?

Resident: No, its 66, but we turn it upside down to confuse people.