Trader Jokes / Recent Jokes

A wealthy trader from Wall Street stopped in at the local tattoo parlor in Key West, Florida and requested to have a one hundred dollar bill tattooed on his penis. The heavily tattooed tattoo artist looked at the extremely well dressed trader with a look of complete astonishment, and said “I’ve had strange requests, but this one tops the list. Why in the hell would you want me to tattoo your wanker with the picture of a one hundred dollar bill? ” The trader in his usual fashion looked at the burly artist and told him this account. “There are three distinct reasons I want this done and done immediately. One, I love to play with my money. Two, when I play with my money, I love to see it grow. Three, and this is the most important of all, the next time my wife wants to blow a hundred bucks, she won’t have to leave home to do it!

Two teenagers are sitting on a house porch after school one afternoon. Little Johnny comes walking down the road in front of the house. One of the kids leans over to the other and says, "Do you see that guy? We call him Little Johnny and he is the greatest wheeler dealer in the whole school. He can make a deal and get a trade for almost anything."

This first kid yells to Johnny and asks, "Hey little Johnny, whatcha carrying around with you?" Little Johnny yells back, "I have a sack of buttercups and I am going to go trade them for butter." The teen on the porch yells back, "That is silly! You cannot trade buttercups for butter!" But one hour later, Johnny comes back down the road carrying a bucket full of butter. The two kids on the porch just shake their heads and mutter, "That Johnny is the greatest trader of all."

The next day, the two teenagers see Johnny walking down the road again. One of the kids yells to more...

These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader's store and told him, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year." The trader got the gear together and on top of each one's supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole. The guyssaid "What's that board for?" The trader said, "Well, where you're going there are no women and you might need this." They said "No way! We've sworn off women for life!" The trader said," Well. take the boards with you, and if you don't use themI'll refund your money next year. "Okay," they said and left. Next year this guy came into the trader's store and said "Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year." The trader said, more...

These two guys had both just gotten divorced and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again.
They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again.
They got up there and went into a trader's store and told him, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year."
The trader got the gear together and on top of each one's supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole.
The guys said "What's that board for?"
The trader said, "Well, where you're going there are no women and you might need this."
They said "No way! We've sworn off women for life!" The trader said," Well, take the boards with you and if you don't use them I'll refund your money next year.
"Okay," they said and left.
Next year this guy came into the trader's store and said "Give me enough supplies to last one man more...

These two guys had just gotten divorced and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader's store and told him, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year." The trader got the gear together and on top of each one's supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole.
The guys asked "What's that board for?" The trader said, "Well, where you're going there are no women and you might need this." They said, "No way! We've sworn off women for life!" The trader said, "Well. take the boards with you, and if you don't use them I'll refund your money next year. "Okay," they said and left. The next year this guy came into the trader's store and said "Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year." The trader more...