Trampoline Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Just two, all the rest are true.
Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can’t understand.
Q: What is a criminal lawyer?
A: Redundant.
Q: How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three–one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.
Q: Why does California have the most attorneys, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste dumps?
A: New Jersey got first pick.
Q: What’s black and brown and looks good on an attorney?
A: A doberman pinscher.
What is the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
You take your shoe's off before you get on a trampoline.
Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and an English textbook?
A: You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.
Q: How do you get ten English teachers to agree on the best teaching method?
A: Shoot nine of them.
(Use as an example of the insult variety of jokes.)
Q: Why were the little drops of ink crying?
A: Their mother was in the pen and they did not know how long her sentence would be.
Q: How many sheep does it take to make one wool sweater?
A: I didn't even know sheep could knit!
Q: What's a teacher's favorite nation?
A: Expla-nation.
Q: What's the most colorful state of U. S. A.?
A: Color-ado.
Q: In what state does it cost the most to live in?
A: Expennsylvania.
A Little Johnny went to sit on Santa's lap, and Santa asked him what he wanted
for Christmas.
Little Johnny answered, "A damn swingset in the backyard."
"Excuse me?" said Santa.
"I want a damn swingset in my backyard," repeated Little Johnny.
Santa said, "You'll have to ask nicer if you want Santa to bring you something.
Let's try again. What else do you want?"
Little Johnny answered, "A damn sandbox for the side yard."
"You have to ask politely! One more time. What else do you want for Christmas?"
Little Johnny thought for a minute, then said, "I want a damn trampoline in
the front yard."
Santa sighed and set Little Johnny off his lap. "I'm sorry son, I can't give
anything to someone who talks like you do. I'm not bringing you anything for
Christmas."
Santa then called Johnny's more...
Q: What's a blonde's favorite wine? A: "Daddy! can I go to Miami! Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? A: She turned it over and used the other side. Q: How do you change a blonde's mind? A: Blow in her ear. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer? A: There are some things even a blonde won't do.Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A: She moved. Q: Why do blondes look up and smile at lightning? A: They think someone is taking their picture. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline? A: You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline! Q: Why do blondes have square breasts? A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box! Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common? A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any. Q: Why can't blondes count to 70? A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful. Q: What is the more...
Q: What is a chord? A: Three violists playing in unison.Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One.Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section? A: Half a measure.Q: What is the difference between grapes and a viola? A: You take off your shoes to stamp on grapes.Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please.Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers.Q: What is the difference between a chainsaw and a viola? A: If you absolutely had to, you could use a chainsaw in a string quartet.Q: What do you call a person who plays the viola? A: A violator.Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section? A: A semi-tone.Q: Why are violas so large? A: It is an optical illusion. It's not that the violas are large, just that the viola player's heads are so small.Q: more...
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Just two, all the rest are true.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.
Q: What is a criminal lawyer?
A: Redundant.
Q: How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three--one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.
Q: Why does California have the most attorneys, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste dumps?
A: New Jersey got first pick.
Q: What's black and brown and looks good on an attorney?
A: A doberman pinscher.