Trampoline Jokes / Recent Jokes

Musician Jokes - In Score Order
How do you get two piccolos to play in perfect unison?
Shoot one.
What's the definition of a minor second?
Two flutists playing in unison.
What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop up an oboe.
What's the difference between playing an English horn solo and wetting your pants?
Nothing. Both give you a warm feeling but no one else cares.
What's the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes when you jump on the trampoline.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the bassoon recital.
Why do clarinetists leave their cases on their dashboards?
So they can park in handicapped zones.
What's the definition of a nerd?
Someone who owns his own alto clarinet.
What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
Gifted.
What's the difference between a lawn mower and a soprano sax?
You can tune a lawn mower, more...

How do you make a baby float?
Yake your foot off its head
Whats the difference between a baby and a fridg?
The fridge doesnt cry when you put your meat in it
How do you make a baby cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock on its teddy bear
how do you get a baby in a bowl?
With a blender
How do you get it out again?
With corn chips
How many babys does it take to paint a house?
Depends on how hard you throw them
Whats red and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion
Whats the difference between a baby and a rugby ball?
When you kick a rugby ball your not aiming for the posts
WHats the defference between a baby and a trampoline
You take your boots off before you jump on the trampoline
Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a ferari?
I dont hacve a ferari in my garage
What does a blind, deaf, mute, paraplegic baby get for christmas?
Cancer

Q: What's funnier than a dead baby?
A: A dead baby in a clown costume!
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
A: When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off!
Q: What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A: A baby with a punctured lung!
Q: What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?
A: Fucked!
Q: How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles?
A: Nail its other hand to the floor!
Q: What do you call a dead baby and 6 week old bread?
A: A Big Mac!
Q: How do you make a man pregnant?
A: Stick a dead baby up his ass!
Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house?
A: Depends how hard you throw them!
Q: What crawls on the floor and can't fit in an elevator?
A: A baby with a javelin through it's head!
Q: What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt!
Q: What's the difference between a bucket of more...