Travel Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three New Zealanders and three Aussies are travelling by train to a cricket match at the World Cup in England. At the station, the three Aussies each buy a ticket and watch as the three New Zealanders buy just one ticket between them. "How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the Aussies. "Watch and learn," answers one of the New Zealanders. They all board the train. The Aussies take their respective seats but all three New Zealanders cram into a toilet and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Aussies see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the game, they decide to copy the New Zealanders on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all more...
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Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Atlanta.
One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!"
Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hootch and get completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings. Its Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Bud says, "No that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."
"Yeah, well there's just one more...
Three PAKISTANIS and three INDIANS are traveling by
train to a Cricket match at the World Cup, while in England.
At the station, the 3 INDIANS buy a ticket each and watch as the three PAKISTANIS buy just one ticket for them all.
"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the INDIANS. "Watch and learn," answers one of the PAKISTANI.
They all board the train. The INDIANS take their
respective seats but all three PAKISTANIS cram into a toilet and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train departs, the ticket checker
comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says," Ticket please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The ticket checker takes it and moves on. The INDIANS see this and agree that it was quite a clever idea.
So after the game, they decide to copy the more...
A Delta Airlines pilot was badly embarrassed about the a particularly rough landing. He was reluctantly fulfilling company policy that required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited. Nevertheless he stood there and gave each person a smile, and said:' Thanks for flying Delta.'
He had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, awaiting that inevitable harsh comment on the landing, which by extension would impugn his professional skills and probably his manhood as well.
There were fewer smiles than normal, but no comments. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said,' Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?'
'Why no M'am,' said the pilot,' what is it?'
The little old lady said,' Did we just land or were we shot down?'
3 Pakistani`s & 3 Indians are traveling by train to a
cricket match at the World Cup in England. At the
station, the 3 INDIANS buy a ticket each and watch as
the three PAKISTANIS buy just one ticket for them all.
"How are the 3 of you going to travel on only one
ticket?" asks one of the INDIAN "Watch and learn
"answer one of the PAKISTANI`s.
They all board the train. the INDIANS take their
seats but all three PAKISTANIS cram into a toilet and
close the door behind them. Shortly after the train
departs, the conductor comes around collecting
tickets.
He knock on the toilet door and says, "Ticket
please." the door opens just a crack and a single arm
emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it
and moves on.
The INDIANS see this and agree it was a clever idea.
so after the game, they decide to copy the PAKISTANI
style on the return more...
A Swiss guy visiting Sydney, Australia, pulls up at a bus stop where two locals are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks.The two Aussies just stare at him."Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries.The two continue to stare."Parlare Italiano?"No response."Hablan ustedes Espanol?"Still nothing.The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first Aussie turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.""Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."