Trick Jokes / Recent Jokes
Love is an evil trick that nature plays on people to get them to breed.
This guy wanted a parrot who talked. He asked the pet store manager if there was a bird who was already speaking. The manager directed the guy to a bird by the window. "This bird has a vocabulary of 1000 words and another 50 phrases that would fit most occasions."
The guy bought the bird and took it home.
Next day, the guy was back in the petstore to complain. The bird hadn't said a word.
The pet store manager said, "That's not unusual. Why not buy a few of the toys the bird had been used to playing with while here and put it in his cage. That should get him more comfortable with his surroundings and loosen him up." The man paid for the toys and took them home to the bird.
Two days later the guy showed back up. "Still not talking, huh?" asked the manager. "Well, perhaps a birdbath would do the trick." The credit card was whipped out, the purchase made, and the guy was back home with his new birdbath.
And, like clockwork, more...
The teacher was discussing different jobs held by the parents of the students. When she called on Little Johnny, she asked, "And what does your father do?""Oh, he's a magician," replied Johnny."Really? And what's his best trick?""His best trick is sawing people in half.""Wonderful!" exclaimed the teacher. "Tell me, are there any more children in your family?""Yes ma'am, I have a half brother and two half sisters."
The new hooker had just finished her first trick. Whenshe came back down to the street, the seasoned veteransall gathered around to hear the details. She said,"Well, he was a big, muscular and handsome marine." "Well? What did he want to do?" they all asked. She said, "I told him that a straight lay was $100, buthe said he did not have that much. So, I told him a blowjob would be $75, but he did not have that much either.Finally I said, 'Well how much do you have?' The marinesaid he only had $25. So, I told him, 'For $25, all Ican give you is a hand job.' He agreed and after gettingthe finances straight, he pulled it out. I put onehand on it. Then, I put the other hand above that one." She paused, raised her eyebrows, and then continues,"Then I put the first hand above the second hand..." "Oh my God!" they all exclaimed, "it must have been huge! Then what did you do?" "I loaned him $75!"
A blonde's redhead decides to show her a neat way to trick people - you put your hand on a wall and ask someone to punch it. But before they do, you pull your hand away! "That is a neat trick," thinks the blonde, and tries desperately to remember it, but isn't all too successful. Despite this, she decides to try it out on her blonde friend."Okay," she says, "I'm going to put my hand in front of my face..."
David Copperfield is doing his magic show and asks if anyone would like toshow him a trick. "I will", replies a guy in the audience, "but I'm going to need your wife Claudia and a table." "Ok", says David and the guy gets on stage.He then bends Claudia over the table, pulls down her knickers and startsfucking her from behind. David is now very pissed off and says, "That isn't a trick!!!"The guy just looks at David Copperfield and replies,"I know, it's fucking magic."