Trucker Jokes / Recent Jokes

A group of nuns were traveling in a car when it had a flat tire. They got out and attempted to change it, but being rather unworldly, they had no idea how to go about it. Fortunately, a truck came along and the driver offered to change it for them. They gratefully accepted.
As the trucker jacked up the car, it slipped from the jack. "Son-of-a-bitch!" he screamed.
"Sir, that is inappropriate language," the eldest nun said. "We understand you're upset, but must you use such language?"
"My apologies, Sister," he replied, and tried again. It slipped again and nearly smashed his fingers. "Son-of-a-bitch!" he screamed.
"Please, sir, we would ask you again to not use such language," the nun scolded. "If changing our tire is causing you to do so, perhaps it would be best if you didn't help us."
"I'm sorry, Sister, but I get so upset that it just comes out," the trucker more...

A long-haired youth was hitchhiking through the deep South. He got a ride from a mean-looking redneck trucker. Afterriding about 30 miles in silence, the youth finally said,"Well, aren't you going to ask me?""Ask you what?"replied the trucker."If I'm a boy or a girl," answered the youth."Don't matter," replied the trucker. "Gonna fuck ya anyway."

After driving for about six hours, a trucker decides to pull over and sleep for a little while. As soon as he falls asleep, he is awoken by some knocks on the door of the cab.
"Can you tell me the time, please?" asks a jogger.
"Yeah, it's 4:30," answers the trucker. He falls asleep again, but he is awoken again by another jogger who wants to know the time. "It's 4:40!" yells the trucker. Deciding to really try to sleep a little, he writes on a piece of paper: I DON'T KNOW THE TIME. He sticks the paper in his windshield.
But he is awoken again. 'It's 5:25," says another jogger.

A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to life. "Hey Roadway driver whos the two biggest poofs in America?" comes from the CB. The Roadway driver replies. "I don't know". The other trucker says " You and your brother ". Well the Roadway driver gets all annoyed but the other driver tells him "Its just a joke - tell it to the next truck you see." Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour an finally sees another truck. he gets on the CB and says " Hey other truck do you know who the two biggest poofs in the world are?" The other trucker says " I don't know who?" The roadway driver replies " Me and my brother"

Trucker hauling computers and accessories is driving down the highway late one night when he sees a truck stop on the side of the road. So he decides to pull over. On aproaching the door he read s a sign: "NO NERDS." He shrugs it off and enters. He`s greeted by the end of a shotgun barrel in his face. "Are you a nerd?" the bartender asks.

"No, I`m a truck driver," he replies. He`s allowed to come in, so he orders a cup of coffee, sits at the bar and drinks it.

While he drinks his coffee, a man walks in wearing his pants up to his chest, a plaid shirt, pocket protector and thick-framed glass. The bartender pulls out his shotgun and blows him away.

"What the hell did you do that for!?" asks the trucker.

"Well," the bartender answers, "it`s nerd season."

"Nerd season?" asks the trucker, confused.

"Yeah. See, the nerd population in this town is more...

A young man at his first job as a waiter in a diner has a large trucker sit down at the counter and order, "Gimme 3 flat tires and a couple of headlights."

Bewildered he goes to the kitchen and tells the cook, "I think this guy's in the wrong store, look at what he ordered!"

The cook says, "He wants 3 pancakes & 2 eggs sunny-side up."

The waiter takes a bowl of beans to the trucker.

He looks at it and growls, "What's this? I didn't order this!"

The young man tells him, "The cook says that while you're waiting for your parts you might as well gas up.

A young woman with a happy, cheerful voice was working in her husbands trucking line office. She answered a phone call from a trucker asking for directions to the terminal. After a short conversation, he said he could hardly wait to meet her. "I just know you are small, blond with blue eyes," he said. "No," young woman replied, "Im tall, brunette and have brown eyes." "Close enough!" said the trucker.