Trumpet Jokes / Recent Jokes

In an emergency a jazz trumpeter was hired to do some solos with a symphony orchestra. Everything went fine through the first movement, when she had some really hair-raising solos, but in the second movement she started going improvising madly when she wasn't supposed to play at all. After the concert the conductor came round looking for an explanation. She said, "I looked in the score and it said `tacit'--so I took it!"

Vacationing in Mexico
A man and his wife are visiting Mexico and go to the local restaurant for dinner. They can't seem to decide on what to have so they spend a lot of time looking over the menu.
While they are looking, they hear a trumpet fanfare, and out of the kitchen comes the cook with a big platter. He is accompanied by two or three waiters. With much ceremony, they place the platter on the next table and uncover it to reveal two rather large rounded pieces of meat surrounded by vegetables and lots of garnish.
The man and wife ask their waiter what that was all about.
The waiter explains that the next table was just served the house specialty: the testicles of the bull from the day's bullfight. The couple orders the same dish. The waiter apologetically explains that there is only one bullfight per day so they can't have that dish tonight. However, they could be the persons of honor tomorrow night. This compromise makes the couple happy.
They return the next more...

So this trumpet player dies. When he reaches is everlasting reward, the guy in the robe says, "You're going to spend eternity with this combo, okay? There's a bass player named' Mingus' and a pianist named' Monk', and any day now we expect this' Blakey' guy to show up with his drums. "Wow!" the guy says, "I never imagined heaven would be this good." The man in the robe says, "This is hell, not heaven. There's a girl singer."

How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to screw in the bulb and the others to stand around and say, "I could do that better."

How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he'll do it too loudly.

Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 50. 1 to do it and the others to stand around and say, "I could do that better."

TRUMPET: Obviously one would think that a trumpeter's greatest weapon is his ability to play high notes at great volume. This misconception has been perpetuated unwittingly by great performers like Maynard Ferguson and Dizzy Gillespie. The danger is not in the player who can play high. The danger lies in the player who THINKS he can play high. A young player's incessant caterwauling and inflated ego are a danger to himself and all those around him. The most effective counter measure is to allow the player to continue his high note practice (even encourage him to go higher and louder) until his lips explode or he cracks a tooth jamming his face into the mouthpiece.