Trusted Jokes

Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However, every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. Therefore, if I ever happen to become an Evil Overlord...

1. My legions of terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of more...

A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours."
The banker said, "Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him."

One night, Jim, the Governor's most trusted assistant, passed away in his sleep. The Governor had relied on Jim for advice on every aspect imagineable. Jim had also been his dearest friend. Feeling such a great loss, the Governor was quite upset to see the office workers were wasting no time seeking Jim's job. "Can they not at least wait until the poor man is buried," muttered the Governor.
At Jim's funeral, one of the eager office workers approached the Governor and asked, "Sir, any chance that I could take Jim's place?"
"Definitely!" replied the Governor. "You'd better hurry though, I believe the undertaker is nearly finished."

A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, “I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours. ”
The banker said, “Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him. ”

A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours."The banker said, "Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him."