Twister Jokes

Dr suess tonuge twister.
See if you can do this read each
sentence out loud!
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat.
Now read only the the third line of each
sentence!
This is how to keep a dumbass
busy for forty seconds.

A guy boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat.He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye. He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes, mind if I ask how you got yours? Other guy: "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident.See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the hugest tits in the world was there. So, instead of saying 'I'd like a ticket to Pittsburgh', I accidentally said 'I'd like a Picket to Tittsburgh.' And then she socked me one."First guy: "Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife: 'Please pour me a bowl of Wheaties.' But I accidentally said:'You ruined my life you fuckin' bitch!'"

Alternate/rejected titles for the movie Twister:

*Totally Gone With The Wind
*Boys On The Side... Of My Barn
*The Weather Channel: The Movie
*Schindler's Twist
*Field of Debris
*Dead Man Flying
*One House Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
*The Splintered Bridges of Madison County
*Wizard of Oz II:The Search For Toto
*Killer Genuine Draft
*Four Weddings and a Funnel
*Indiana Jones and the Trailer Park of Doom
*A Funny Thing Happened On the Way To the Farm
*Roofless in Seattle

Here's a fun tongue twister.
Read the following list and then follow the instructions at the end.
Read it LOUD and REAL FAST... see if you can do it!
DON'T read the instructions until you get it right!!!

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is fool cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Did ya do it? Now go back up and read the third word in each line starting from the top to the bottom: )

A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sitsdown in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye. He says to him, Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if ask how you got yours? Other guy: Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident.See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with huge, huge breasts was there. So, instead of saying I'd like a ticket to Pittsburgh, I said I'd like a picket to Tittsburgh. She socked me one.First guy: Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife: "Please pour me a bowl of Wheaties."But I accidentally said: "You ruined my life you fucking bitch!"