UFO Jokes / Recent Jokes

[Notice on an Internet newsgroup] I have met a person who is writing a book on UFOs, and wants to have a chapter on UFO encounters by pets. If your pets have had such experiences, please contact me by private email, and I can get you in contact with the author.

"I hit a cat with a Zippo one time because it was considering going after a bird. The cat didn't know what it was. Does that count?"

(Ed.   groan)

On march 20th, UFO fans observed Alien Abduction Day. A day where UFO buffs, and those who believe they have been abducted, celebrate their belief that extraterrestrials have visited the Earth. The day is marked with activities, including a festival in Toronto, watching the night sky for UFO's, and costumed enthusiasts performing reenactments of, "anal probes."

Q: What's a blondes' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.
Q: Why do blondes drive VW's
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!!
Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A1 So brunettes can remember them.
A2 Because blondes are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit.
Q: Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a blonde? ???
A: She wouldn't have been old enough to bear children!
Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Q: Why did more...

Q. What is the difference between a smart blonde and an UFO?

A. There have been sightings of UFOs.

Q. Why do cats hate flying saucers?A. Because they can't reach the milk.

MARS AIR FORCE DENIES STORIES OF UFO CRASH

Valles Marineris (MPI) - A spokesthing for Mars Air Force denounced as false rumors that an alien space craft crashed in the desert, outside of Ares Vallis on Friday. Appearing at a press conference today, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser, stated that' the object was, in fact, a harmless high-altitude weather balloon, not an alien spacecraft'.

The story broke late Friday night when a major stationed at nearby Ares Vallis Air Force Base contacted the Valles Marineris Daily Record with a story about a strange, balloon-shaped object which allegedly came down in the nearby desert,' bouncing' several times before coming to a stop,' deflating in a sudden explosion of alien gases'. Minutes later, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser contacted the Daily Record telepathically to contradict the earlier report.

General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that hysterical stories of a detachable vehicle roaming across the Martian desert were more...

How are UFO's related to hamburgers? Both are Unidentified Frying Objects!