Underwear Jokes / Recent Jokes

Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem.
"The good news is I can cure your headaches... The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he has anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a more...

Jail officials in Linn County, OR, have banned underwear for male inmates, explaining that it costs too much money to replace T-shirts and drawers, which keep disappearing.
Sherrif Dave Burright said some items were flushed down the toilet, resulting in a $200 bill to unclog the sewer lines.
Also, this summer an inmate tried to hang himself with the elastic waistband from his briefs. So far, only one prisoner has complained, claiming it is a constitutional right for inmates to have underwear, according to Burright, who noted, "I don't remember Thomas Jefferson putting anything about underwear in the Constitution."

What is old, wrinkled, and hangs out your underwear? Your Mother...

There was this woman who had a blonde daughter. One day, she got her ball stuck in the tree.
"Mom, my ball's stuck in the tree. Can I go get it?" she asked.
"No, the perverted boy will look up your skirt and see your underwear. Wait till daddy gets home."
The little girl furiously stomped away.
About an hour later, before her husband came home, the woman saw her daughter playing with her ball.
"How did you get your ball?"
"Well, you said that you didn't want the boy to see my underwear, so I took it off."

There were three guys that wanted to take a citizenship test. One was French one was Russian and of course the other Polish. They were given books to study from and the next day they were all ready to take the test. However, they were all good friends and one of them came up with a brilliant idea to write down the answers on a piece of paper and put it in their underwear. The proctor asked the Frenchman, "Who was the first president of the U.S." So the Frenchman looks down into his underwear and said, "George Washington." Then the proctor asked the Russian, "Who was the sixteenth president of the U.S.?" So the Russian looks down and says, "Abraham Lincoln." When it came to the Polish guy, the proctor said, "Who is the current President of the U.S.?" The Polak answered, "Fruit of the Loom."

One morning a husband took a pair of underwear out of the drawer. "What the...?," he said to himself as a little blue dust cloud appeared when he shook them out.
"April!" he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"
She shot back, "It's not talcum powder. It's 'Miracle Grow'."

Things Dogs Must Remember...
I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
I will not throw up in the car.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
"Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
I will not chew my human's toothbrush more...