Unfaithful Jokes

Three guys die and go to heaven.
The first guy goes up to St. Peter, who says, "In all the years you were married, were you ever unfaithful to your wife?"
The guy thinks a moment then says, "No. No. I was always faithful to her through 55 years of marriage."
St. Peter scratches something down in a big book, then he says to the guy, "OK, mister, you can have that Rolls Royce over there to drive around here."
Now second guy goes up to St. Peter. He asks him, "In all the years you were married, were you ever unfaithful to your wife?"
This second guy takes a moment. He hems and haws a few minutes, then he says, "Well, I did flirt a little, and there was that one night with Julia. But other than that I tried to remain faithful to my wife through 40 years of marriage. I guess I just wasn't perfect, huh?"
St. Peter scratches something in his book and says, "Don't worry about it. You can have that motorbike over more...

After years of marriage, Ole and Lena found themselves in bed one night. Lena leaned over to Ole and said, "Ole, have you ever been unfaithful during all our years of marriage?"
"Not even once!" exclaimed Ole. "Lena, have you ever been unfaithful?"
"Well, er, yes - but only three times," she admitted somewhat embarrassed.
"Hmmm, three times?" questioned Ole. "That's not so bad. Do you remember those three times? Can you tell me when?"
"Well, Ole, do you remember when you wanted to build the store and you had a hard time getting approval from the City Council?" asked Lena. "That was the first time."
"And, do you remember when you wanted to build an addition, but had to get the okay from the building inspector?" she asked. "That was the second time."
"OK, Lena, when was the third time?" queried Ole?
"The third time was " Lena paused. more...

Never before had Sue looked in the box that her husband Fred kept under their bed. The box had been there for the past 20 years of their marriage but she had never invaded his privacy. One day, while cleaning, she decided to take a look in the box. She didn`t figure it was anything he was hiding since she could have looked at it any other time but hadn`t. In the box she found 3 eggs and 10 thousand dollars. This seemed very strange so she went to Fred and asked, `Why are there 3 eggs in a box under our bed?` He replied, `Well, every time I was unfaithful to you, I put an egg in the box.` Sue was surprised and hurt that he had been unfaithful but she consoled herself with the fact that they had been married for over 20 years and he had only been unfaithful 3 times. `But where did the 10 thousand dollars come from?` she asked. `Every time I got a dozen, I sold it.`

A female doctor can't fall asleep. the conscience and mind are discussing in her.
The conscience: - how can you sleep after you were unfaithful to your husband!
The mind: - it depends on husbands! if your husband is always busy, he has no time for sex; even the holy wife will be unfaithful. you were right, my dear... hush and sleep...
The conscience: - adultery differs! f****** with a patient is unprofessional!
The mind: - yes, but remember mary from the near by hospital. she always has sex with her patients everybody is satisfied and pleased.
The conscience becomes silent. the woman falls asleep... and suddenly the
Conscience starts again with sarcastic whisper: - yes, but mary is not a veterinary...

Never before had Sue looked in the box that her husband Fred kept under their bed. The box had been there for the past 20 years of their marriage but she had never invaded his privacy. One day, while cleaning, she decided to take a look in the box. She didn't figure it was anything he was hiding since she could have looked at it any other time but hadn't. In the box she found 3 eggs and 10 thousand dollars. This seemed very strange so she went to Fred and asked,' Why are there 3 eggs in a box under our bed?'
He replied,' Well, every time I was unfaithful to you, I put an egg in the box.'
Sue was surprised and hurt that he had been unfaithful but she consoled herself with the fact that they had been married for over 20 years and he had only been unfaithful 3 times.' But where did the 10 thousand dollars come from?' she asked.' Every time I got a dozen, I sold it.'