Unusual Jokes

An elderly gentlemen had been living with his spinster daughter for some years. One day, upon returning home he heard an unusual whirring noise. Wandering around the first floor, he noticed that the noise seemed to be coming from somewhere upstairs.
He proceeded up the stairs to investigate. Walking around, he realized that the noise increased as he neared his daughters closed bedroom door. Whereupon he quickly open the door to make sure that everything was alright.
He was astonished by the sight of his daughter, stretched out naked on her bed with a vibrator violently shaking in her hand.
"Sylvie! What in tarnation is goin' on?" He shouted!
Sylvie, without hesitation replied: "Daddy, I have needs! Isn't it obvious? I know that I'm not going to find anybody to marry, so please leave me alone, and shut the door on your way out."
Somewhat chagrined, he retreated, and closed the door as he exited.
Not too many days later, his daughter returned more...

A man went into a pet store and said to the owner, I`d like to buy a pet that is out of the ordinary - unusual. The pet shop owner replied, well,I have one Rairy-bird left... The man said, I`ve never even heard of a Rairy-bird, that certainly makes it unusual!, I`ll take it! So the man brought home his new Rairy-bird and soon found out that it had a huge appetite! It was always hungry!! Finally,the Rairy-bird was so big and fat that it wouldn`t fit inside the house anymore, much less the cage! The man said to himself: I`ve got to get rid of this animal-I can`t afford to feed it! So he rented a huge dump truck, put the Rairy-bird into the back, and drove to the edge of a high cliff. He then dumped the Rairy-bird out of the truck and over the cliff!! Thinking that all his troubles were over, the man was driving home when he suddenly heard this singing coming from the back of the dump- truck: "It`s a long long way to tip-a-Rairy!!

In an effort to clarify questions about the purported durability and unusual physical characteristics of Twinkies, we subjected the Hostess snack logs to the following experiments:

Exposure

A Twinkie was left on a window ledge for 4 days, during which time an inch and a half of rain fell. Many flies were observed crawling across the Twinkie's surface, but contrary to hypothesis, birds, even pigeons, avoided this potential source of substance. Despite the rain and prolonged exposure to the sun, the Twinkie retained its original color and form. When removed, the Twinkie was found to be substantially dehydrated. Cracked open, it was observed to have taken on the consistency of industrial foam insulation; the filling however, retained its advertised "creaminess"

Radiation

A Twinkie was placed in a conventional microwave oven, which was set for precisely 4 minutes - the approximate cooking time of bacon. After 20 seconds, the oven began more...

The class was instructed to write about something unusual that happened during the past week. When they were finished, each child stood up and read their paper to the class.
Little Billy stood up and began to read, "Last week, my papa fell in the well... "
"Oh, goodness," shrieked the teacher. "Is he ok now?"
"I guess he must be," replied Billy. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday!"

A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company. It was always his dream to own his own business, so he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them. The last question of the interview was always the same."Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the first candidate."Yes. You have no ears." He quickly eliminated the first candidate."Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the second candidate."Yes. You have no ears." He quickly eliminated the second candidate."Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the third candidate."Yes. more...