Upside Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was this blind man on an airplane and while he was up in the air, the two pilots that were flying died. This man felt the plane rocking more than normal so he went up to the cock-pit and asked what was wrong and got no answer. He reached down and felt one of the pilots pulse, and then moved him to the floor and got on the radio and yelled, "Mayday, mayday, I'm a blind man, my pilots are dead, I can't fly and the plane is upside down."

Someone answers and says, "Okay sir, now you said you were blind. How can you tell that the pilots are dead and that you're flying upside down?"

The blind man said, "Well I felt for their pulse and they had none. And the way I can tell that the plane is flying upside down is I can feel the crap running down my neck!"

Here are more funny thoughts from www.crazythoughts.com.
Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?
Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?
Why is a square meal served on round plates?
Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
Which way does a compass point in space?
Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?
Why do all superheroes wear spandex?
If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
Why did Mary own a little lamb?
If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?
Why can't a baby cry while it's inside its mother?
If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?
If you were a genie more...

Once Santa Singh and Banta Singh were going in a jungle, Suddenly they saw one tiger comming towards them. To save themselves they climbed a tree and both sat on one branch. The tiger came under the tree and sat down. Santa told Banta " Yaar just to pass Time Why don`t you sing some song" Banta Singh started to sing. After singing four songs Banta hanged upside down on the branch and then again sung four songs. After singing all the songs he Banta came back to his original position. Santa asked curiosly "Yaar Bantya, You sung four songs sitting in upright position and next four songs you sat upside down, Why did you do that?" Banta told " Yaar First four songs were from side A and the other four were from Side B".

A soldier keeps a mug upside down and tells the sergeant: - I can't drink from this mug. It has no opening. The sergeant examines the mug and says: - You are right. And besides this, it has no bottom.

What happens when ducks fly upside down? They quack up!