Urinate Jokes / Recent Jokes

One Saturday morning, Glen decided to go fishing.
He sat there for hours, but nothing. The bottle whiskey that he've took with him, was also empty. He throw the empty bottle into pieces against a nearby rock.
All of a sudden, there was something on the hook. He pulled the fish out of the water. The only fish for the day so far. The fish was so small, Glen decided to throw it back.
The little fish was so exited, to such an extend, that it decided to give Glen one wish.
He asked the little fish for some more whiskey. The fish said, "Allright then, when you're urinating, it will be pure whiskey."
So Glen sat there, and wonder, can this really be? Glen took a glass and urinate in it. It was pure, pure whiskey.
A while later, a women, who was standing nearby, comes to him and asks, "sir are you allright? I saw you drinking your own piss.
"No", said Glen, "it's whiskey."
The women laughed. He urinate into the glass, and gave more...

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and he really needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled, "Teacher, Teacher, I have to go pee pee!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, you should be old enough to know that this is not the proper word to use?""The correct word would be urinate."
"Now Johnny, would you please use the word urinate in a sentence?"Little Johnny thought for a moment then said:, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a ten!"

teacher ask the pupils to put urinate in a sentance, mary goes if i drink too much water i then have to urinate.teacher says well done next bobby says if i hear water running it makes me want to urinate, great the teacher says so johnny chimes in and says " my dad reakons urinate but if you had bigger tits youd be a ten

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!
The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is' urinate.' Please use the word' urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."
Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"

Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems. Im seventy years old. Every morning at seven oclock I get up and I try to urinate. All day long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing helps." The second old man says, "You think you have problems. Im eighty years old. Every morning at 8: 00 I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps." Finally the third old man speaks up, "Fellas: Im ninety years old. Every morning at 7: 00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8: 00 I move my bowels. Every morning at 9: 00 sharp I wake up."