Use Jokes / Recent Jokes
A bengali and indian and a english and a PAKI enter into a bar... all of a sudden the bengali throw's his glass in the air takes out his shot gun and shoot's it.... hes say's'Glasses in bangledesh are so cheap u dont use with the same one twice.... soon the indian throws his glass in the air and shoot's it... he too says that glasses in indian are so cheap u dont use the same one twice.... The enlish throws his glass in the air shoot's it then shoots the PAKI..... He says that there are soooo PAKI'S in ENGLAND u dont drink with the same one twice....; )
You know that Camp doesnt mean a cabin in the woods. The men in your family were gardeners, farmers or produce workers. The women in your family were seamstresses, domestic workers or farm laborers. Your Issei grandparents had an arranged marriage. One of your relatives was a "picture bride." You have Nisei relatives named Tak, Tad, George, Harry or Shig. You have Nisei relatives named Keiko, Aiko, Sumi or Mary. Youre Sansei and your name is Janice, Glen, Brian, Bill or Kenji. Youre thinking of naming your Yonsei child, Brittany, Jenny, Lauren, Garett or Brett, with a Japanese middle name. All of your cousins are having hapa kids. You have relatives who live in Hawaii. You belong to a Japanese credit union Wherever you live now, you always come home to the Obon festival. The bushes in your front yard are trimmed into balls. You have a kaki tree in the backyard. You have at least one bag of sembei in the house at all times. You have a Japanese doll in a glass case in your more...
Why have scientists begun to use lawyers instead of lab rats for research?
Two reasons: first, they are more plentiful than rats, second, the researchers don’t get as attached to them.
One problem, though, is that no one has been able to extrapolate the test results to human beings.
Response:
C’mon Guys! That’s only half the joke about researchers, lab rats and lawyers. There are four, well-known reasons why researchers prefer lawyers to rats:
1. Lawyers are more plentiful. (You got this one.)
2. They are easier to train.
3. Researchers don’t get attached to them. (You got this one, too.)
4. There are some things a rat won’t do.
: Why the Internet Is Like a Vagina
If you play with it too much you can go blind.
You wouldn't believe the things people put in there!
Some people think they know how to move around in it, but they really can't interface.
In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to receive information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.
The more people use it the bigger it gets.
It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before.
It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.
If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread more...
If architects had to work like programmers. . .
Dear Mr. Architect,
Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion.
My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.
Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).
As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of more...
Microsoft Trademarks the Trademark Symbol By Vince Sabio HumourNet Communications, Ltd. REDMOND, Wash (UPI) - Software and marketing giant Microsoft Corporation (MSFT) announced today that it has purchased the rights to the well-known "trademark" symbol, formerly denoted as "tm" in most print media. The symbol is commonly used to identify commercial product names that have not yet been registered with the U. S. Patent and Trademark Office. "It was a natural," commented John Schexnader, of Microsoft's Ministry of Information. "Several of us were sitting around after a board meeting a few months ago, and we were talking about what we should buy next. We were tossing around the idea of purchasing a country or two in South America, as kind of a follow-up to Sun Microsystems' trademark-infringement claim against The Island Formerly Known As Java, when it occurred to us that there are no countries named' ActiveX.' We talked about changing the name of' more...
Always look like a Shiseido Spokes model: he would be proud to take the girl around shopping and showing her off. Never be taller than him: it makes him look bad. Compliment! Tell him that his little Honda Civic is a lot sportier looking than the Porsche. Have him upgrade the civic to a prelude his senior year and when he graduates persuade him to get a Supra. Buy him clothes Dead Rap stars would wear: Polo, Hilfinger, Nautica, Nikes, Timberlands, and Quicksilver (close enough to big brand names). Never use more hair products than he does. Tell him his baggy clothes makes him look bigger. (BTW, from tric) Talk to him in a way that allows him to use what little of Japanese (any Asian language ) he knows. Tell him that he's different from the other white guys on the street. The special white guy you love. Compliment him on both his shirts... the button long sleeve one, and the print t-shirt he has on underneath. Make them think that because they understand your "culture", they more...