Vacation Jokes / Recent Jokes

Here's a list of some cute letters kids have written to God:
Dear GOD: Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have? - Jane
Dear GOD: Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. - Larry
Dear GOD: If You watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes. - Mickey
Dear GOD: I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. - Nan
Dear GOD: In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? - Jane
Dear GOD: I read the Bible. What does "beget" mean? Nobody will tell me. - Love, Alison
Dear GOD: Are You really invisible or is it just a trick? - Lucy
Dear GOD: Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? Anita
Dear GOD: Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it more...

Santa went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family including his mother-in-law. During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalem, Santa's mother-in-law died.
With the death certificate in hand, Santa went to the Indian Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to Punjab, India for a proper funeral ceremony.
The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law told Santa that the sending of a body back to India for cremation is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as fifty thousand rupees. The Consul then advised Santa that in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to cremate the body here. This would cost very less.
Santa thinks for some time and answers, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back; that's what I want to do."
The Consul, after hearing this, says "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much considering the difference in more...

Signs Your Partner Needs A Vacation
9. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren.
8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he'd look good in a collar.
7. He wants you to call him "Judge Dredd", and he insists that all suspects should be executed right there on the spot.
6. He talk to himself. Half of him is the "good cop", and the other half is the "bad cop".
5. He keeps asking you if his bullet proof vest makes him look fat.
4. He is exchanging donut recipes with complete strangers.
3. The perpetrators beg him to stop talking about his relationship troubles.
2. He wants to hear less talk and more music on the police channel.
1. He keeps handcuffing himself by accident!!

Here's a list of some cute letters kids have written to God:
Dear GOD:
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have? - Jane
Dear GOD:
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. - Larry
Dear GOD:
If You watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes. - Mickey
Dear GOD:
I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. - Nan
Dear GOD:
In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? - Jane
Dear GOD:
I read the Bible. What does "beget" mean? Nobody will tell me. - Love, Alison
Dear GOD:
Are You really invisible or is it just a trick? - Lucy
Dear GOD:
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? Anita
Dear GOD:
Did You mean for the more...

Here's a list of some cute letters kids have written to God:Dear GOD:Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have? - JaneDear GOD:Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. - LarryDear GOD:If You watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes. - MickeyDear GOD:I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. - NanDear GOD:In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? - JaneDear GOD:I read the Bible. What does "beget" mean? Nobody will tell me. - Love, AlisonDear GOD:Are You really invisible or is it just a trick? - LucyDear GOD:Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? AnitaDear GOD:Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? -NormaDear GOD:Who draws the lines more...

John Kerry announced that he and his wife are leaving on a week-long vacation. He's going to take her back to the place where he first proposed to her
— at her bank.

"You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When... "
You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, "What's this?", you realize you just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox.
A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, "I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one's your turn". Your boss is standing behind you. It's his wife.
While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and look at some confidential information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out.
You return from a week's vacation to find that you had scheduled *this* week as vacation, not last week.
You take a "sick" day. The next morning the boss asks you, "So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?".
You wake up hung over. You have a black eye and barked knuckles. You're in jail. Last night was the company Christmas party.