Vader Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
2. Your Jedi robe is camouflage
3. You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill, or Mad Dog 20-20.
4. At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
5. You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
6. You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
7. You have ever had an X-Wing up on blocks in your yard.
8. The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
9. Wookies are offended by your B.O.
10. You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
11. You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
12. Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the darkside... it'll be a hoot."
13. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defenseelectro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
14. You more...

A furious lightsaber duel is underway. Darth Vader is backing Luke Skywalker
towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Luke's hand!
It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks
around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.
Darth Vader: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father."
Luke: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"
Darth Vader: "No... I am your father!"
Luke: "No, it's not true! It's impossible."
Darth Vader: "Search your feelings... you know it to be true..."
Luke: "No!"
Darth Vader: "Yes, it is true.. and you know what else? You know that brass
droid of yours?"
Luke: "Threepio?"
Darth Vader: "Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old..."
Luke: "No..."
Darth Vader: "Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at more...

TOP TEN REASONS WHY THE STAR WARS CHARACTERS WOULD KICK BUTT IN THE STAR TREK UNIVERSE10) In the Star Wars Universe weapons are rarely, if ever, set on "STUN." 9) The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of 20 just to go into warp. The Millennium Falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a Wookie. 8) After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader, Princess Leia still looked fresh and desirable. After pithy Cardassian starvation torture, Picard looked like hell. 7) One word: Lightsabers. 6) Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire with one glance. 5) The Death Star doesn't care if a world is class "M" or not. 4) Luke Skywalker is not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters. 3) Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on his action. 2) The Federation would have to attempt to liberate any ship named "SlaveI." 1) Picard pilots the Enterprise through asteroid belts at more...

In a cut sequence from the Return of the Jedi, Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader are fighting a duel to the death when suddenly Darth says to Luke, "Not only am I your Father, but I also know what you're getting for Christmas!"

Taken aback by the change of subject and suspecting a trap, Luke replies cautiously, "How could you possibly know what I'm getting for Christmas?"

Darth Vader said, "Because I've felt your presents."

Interesting Facts
*The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
* The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, Massachusetts) is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane.
* Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
* Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
* David Prowse, was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie.
* Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.
* In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
* Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.
* February 1865 is the only month in more...