Vajpayee Jokes

In order to develop friendly relationship between the two countries, Atal Behari Vajpayee and Pervez Musharraf decided to visit each other's country regularly.

The first visit was by Vajpayee to Pakistan. There Musharraf showed him Pakistan's modern telecommunication systems. It was so good that Vajpayee made a call to the Devil in hell and talked to him for 5 minutes! The bill for the call came to only Re. 1.

When Vajpayee came back, he also wanted India's telecommunication systems to be at the best when Musharraf visited India. Suitable arrangements were made.

Mushrraf came to India, visited the telecom department and talked to Zia-ul-Haq in hell for 5 minutes. But this time, the bill was Rs. 500!

Musharraf asked with a sarcastic smile - "Why are telephone calls to hell so costly in India? "

A High level diplomat gave a smiling reply - "From Pakistan to hell, it is a local call, Sir, while from India, it is long more...

Vajpayee, Musharraf, Madhuri Dixit and Margaret Thatcher are traveling in a train.

The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.

Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. Thatcher and Vajpayee are sitting there looking perplexed. Musharraf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Thatcher is thinking: “These Pakistanis are all crazy after Madhuri. Musharraf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him”

Madhuri is thinking: “Musharraf must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Margaret instead and got slapped. ”

Musharraf is thinking: “Damn! it, Vajpayee must have tried to kiss Madhuri, she thought it was me and slapped! me. ”

Vajpayee is thinking: “If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and more...

Nawaz Sherrif comes to Delhi for a meeting with Vajpayee. After dinner, Vajpayee says to Nawaz Sherrif: "Well Nawaz, I don't know what you think of the members of your Cabinet, but mine are all bright and brilliant." "How do you know?" asks Nawaz Sherrif
"Oh well, it's simple", says Atal. " They all have to take special tests before they can be a minister. Wait a second".
He calls Advani over and says to him
"Tell me Advaniji, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your
sister?" "Ah, that's simple", says Advani, "it is me!"
"Well done Advani", says Vajpayee and Nawaz Sherrif is very impressed.
He returns to Islamabad and wonders about the intelligence of the members of his Cabinet. He calls in his favourite
member of cabinet and asks: "Tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is more...

The prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon:
"I'm sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very big tragedy. But in case you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."
=======================================================
Musharraf calls Bush on 11th Sept:
Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings, I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that....
Bush: What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush: It's eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops... Will call back in an hour!
==========================================================
Vajpai and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman,
"Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?" The barman says "Yep, that's more...

Once Bush And Vajpayee Were In A Beer Bar And They Were Drinking Their Beers. At That Time A Reporter Came Upto Them and asked "So Mr. Bush And Vajpayee What Are You Planning?

Vajpayee Says" We Are Planning A Third World War In Which We Will Kill 14 Million Pakistanis And A Cycle Repair Man.

The Reporter Asks" That's Alright, But Why Do You Want To Kill A Cycle Repair man?

Vajpayee Saya To Bush "See I Told You No One Will Worry About The 14 Million Pakistanis.