Vehicle Jokes / Recent Jokes
Dumb Oklahoma Laws
Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.
Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another`s hamburger.
It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle.
Whaling is illegal.
It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.
Residents are taxed for the furniture in their homes, and any other personal belongings. (Repealed 1998)
People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings. (Repealed)
Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have their name and picture shown on television.
Tattoos are banned.
No one may spit on a sidewalk.
It is more...
The Night Before Christmas, Legally Speaking:Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") ageneral lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but notlimited to, a mouse.A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stocking, socks, etc., had been affixedby and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief thatSt. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus")would arrive at sometime thereafter. The minor residents, i.e. thechildren, of the aforementioned House were located in their individualbeds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, whereinvision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in saiddreams.Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred toas "I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House more...
South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn`t Actually Surrender
A short story...
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
How do you know when you`re staying in a South Carolina hotel?
"When you call the front desk and say "I`ve gotta leak in my sink."
and the person at the front desk says "go ahead".
South Carolina: Just south of North Carolina
Dumb South Carolina Laws
It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide.
Every adult male must bring a rifle to church on Sunday in order to ward off Indian attacks.
It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.
When approaching a four way or blind intersection in a non-horse driven vehicle you must stop more...
A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country
road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned
about detection; in fact, the letters "UFO" were emblazoned in
big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft.
As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with
shock, his young, blonde attendant nonchalantly filled up the
tank and then waved to the two aliens as they took off.
"Do you realize what just happened?" the station owner finally
uttered.
"Yeah," said the blonde attendant. "So?"
"Didn't you see the space aliens in that vehicle?!"
"Yeah," repeated the blonde. "So?"
"Didn't you see the letters' UFO' on the side of that vehicle?!"
"Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?"
"Don't you know what' UFO' means?!"
The blonde attendant rolled her eyes. more...
Horses may not be kept in bathtubs. By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place.It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide. Every adult male must bring a rifle to church on Sunday in order to ward off Indian attacks. When approaching a four way or blind intersection in a non-horse driven vehicle you must stop 100 ft from the intersection and discharge a firearm into the air to warn horse traffic. It is considered an offense to get a tattoo. Performing a U-turn within 1,000 feet of an intersection is illegal. Musical instruments may not be sold on Sunday. No work may be done on Sunday. An exception is that light bulbs may be sold. All schools must prepare a suitable program for Francis Willard Day. Dance halls may not operate on Sundays. Merchandise may not be sold within a half mile of a church unless fruit is being sold. A railroad my not remove itself from a town of more than five hundred people. Railroad more...
A BILL TO REGULATE THE HUNTING AND HARVESTING OF ATTORNEYS372. 01 - Any person with a valid California state rodent or deer hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sporting (non-commercial) purposes. 372. 02 - Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait is, however, prohibited. 372. 03 - The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside and the vehicle should proceed to the nearest car wash. 372. 04 - It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or fixed-wing aircraft. 372. 05 - It is unlawful to shout "Whiplash!", "Ambulance!", or "Free Scotch!" for the purpose of trapping attorneys. 372. 06 - It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within one hundred more...