Verne Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dear Dr. Verne:
I'm gonna be gittin' a tattoo removed from my most womanly bod. Being of the good redneck breeding that I'm is, I's worried about affectin' my good standing. I can offer you no better reason than my old man don't like me having my ex-old man's name writ on me, so I'ms getting rid of it.
Verne, please tell me straight: Am I getting woosified? Or should I replace the tattoo with his name?
- Worried in Des Moines
Dear Worried:
It all depends on which kinda tattoo you got. Now if you got the ex's name with the old rose on the ankle or the heart on the boob, I'd lose the damn thing. Ever since them sorority chicks named Tiffany started doing it, guys might figure you's an inferior yuppie babe which talks in that high chipmunk voice and you'll never get to growing your butt out to a decent size.
But if you got one of them giant serpents that covers your back, that's class. I'd keep that baby and just cross out the ex's name with some spray paint and more...