Vibrator Jokes / Recent Jokes

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughters bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.

"What are you doing?" She exclaimed.

The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."

Later that week, the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on a sofa with her vibrator.

"What are you doing?" He exclaimed.

The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."

A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time coming from the den. Upon entering the room, she found her husband watching television with the vibrator buzzing away beside more...

A 80 year old women, whom was suffering from the later stages of Parkinson's disease, came into a sex shop, the poor old women was shaking furiously as she tried to walk with her walker. She walked to the counter and asked the young man working there "Do you sell sexual aids?" stunned the young man replied "Well, why yes we do". The old lady followed asking him "Do you sell the Turbo Vibrator 2000?" still astonished, thinking to himself what the hell does this old lady want with a vibrator and humored at how the old lady could barely talk, she was shaking so badly, the man answered "Why of course we do!"
The women without hesitation quickly asked "Please sir, do you know how to turn the thing off!"

An elderly gentlemen had been living with his spinster daughter for some years. One day, upon returning home he heard an unusual whirring noise. Wandering around the first floor, he noticed that the noise seemed to be coming from somewhere upstairs.
He proceeded up the stairs to investigate. Walking around, he realized that the noise increased as he neared his daughters closed bedroom door. Whereupon he quickly open the door to make sure that everything was alright.
He was astonished by the sight of his daughter, stretched out naked on her bed with a vibrator violently shaking in her hand.
"Sylvie! What in tarnation is goin' on?" He shouted!
Sylvie, without hesitation replied: "Daddy, I have needs! Isn't it obvious? I know that I'm not going to find anybody to marry, so please leave me alone, and shut the door on your way out."
Somewhat chagrined, he retreated, and closed the door as he exited.
Not too many days later, his daughter returned more...

There was a red head, a brunette, and a blonde all in an adults only erotic shop.
The red head walks up to the counter and tells the man that she would like the red vibrator.
He takes it down off the shelf and says "ok that'll be twenty dollars." She pays and goes off on her merry way.
The brunette walks up to the man and says that she would like the yellow vibrator.
He take the yellow one off the shelf and says "ok, miss, that'll be twenty dollars."
She pays and goes off on her merry way.
The blonde walks over to the man blushes and says "yes, sir, I would like the plaid one please." The man turns around to see the "plaid vibrator" and smiling, says "that'll be 75 dollars."
The blonde pays and goes off on her merry way.
The owner of the store comes in and asks the man how the sales were that day.
He replies, "Well, I sold a red and a yellow vibrator for 20 dollars each, and i sold your thermos more...

A guy worked in an adult book store. One afternoon his friend walked in. The guy said, "Dude, thank goodness you showed up!" "I'm starving, and I need you to watch the counter for me for a few minutes, while I run across the street to get some lunch." The friend looked around the store, then looked back at his friend oddly. The guy said, "Dude, don't ask any questions, just sell it to em." The friend said, "Ok". So the guy left. A customer came in, and went up to the counter. She said, "I want a vibrator. What do you have?" The friend said, "We got red ones, white ones, black ones, big ones, little ones and medium sized ones." The lady said, "I'll take a little red one to carry in my bag." He sold it to her. Another woman walked in. She approached the counter and said, "I would like a vibrator, what do you have?" The friend replied, "Red, black or white, large, medium or small. The woman asked, more...

A guy worked in an adult book store. One afternoon his friend walked in. The guy said, "Dude, thank goodness you showed up!" "I'm starving, and I need you to watch the counter for me for a few minutes, while I run across the street to get some lunch."The friend looked around the store, then looked back at his friend oddly. The guy said, "Dude, don't ask any questions, just sell it to em." The friend said, "Ok". So the guy left.A customer came in, and went up to the counter. She said, "I want a vibrator. What do you have?" The friend said, "We got red ones, white ones, black ones, big ones, little ones and medium sized ones." The lady said, "I'll take a little red one to carry in my bag." He sold it to her. Another woman walked in. She approached the counter and said, "I would like a vibrator, what do you have?" The friend replied, "Red, black or white, large, medium or small. The woman asked, more...

Why did the blonde sell her vibrator?
She kept chipping her teeth!