Vice-neutrons Jokes

April 1, 1988: The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered
by physicists at Turgid University. The element, tentatively named
Administratium (Ad), has no protons or electrons, which means that its atomic
number is 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistants to the neutron,
75 vice-neutrons, and 111 assistants to the vice-neutrons. This gives it an
atomic mass number of 312. The 312 particles are held together in the nucleus
by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called
memoons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be
detected chemically because it seems to impede every reaction in which it is
present. According to Dr. M. Langour, one of the discoverers of the element, a
very small amount of Administratium made one reaction that normally takes less
than a second take over four days.
Administratium has a half-life of approximately 3 years, at more...

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by
physicists at Yale's Research Center. The element, tentatively named
administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic
number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons
75 vice- neutrons and 11 assistant vice-neutrons. This gives it an
atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus
by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles
called morons.
Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be
detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact
with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium
caused a reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would
normally occur in less than one second.
Administratium has a normal life of approximately three years, at which
time it does not actually decay but, instead, undergoes more...