Villagers Jokes

A man, forced to live in an Eskimo village, is having a great deal of trouble interacting with the villagers. Finally, he corners one of them and asks why they are ignoring him.
The villager says that he has not been initiated as a man, so he asks what it is he must do in order to be initiated.
"First, you must drink two bottles of Russian Vodka," explains the villager. "You must then enter a cave and kill a polar bear with your bare hands. Finally, to seal your induction into manhood, you must make love with one of our women for eight hours straight."
The man agrees to carry out the requirements.
That night the villagers hold a big party to initiate him. Everyone sits around the fire and they pass him the first bottle of vodka. He drinks the first half of the bottle without too much trouble, but finds the second half a little more difficult. Finally, he finishes it and they hand him the second bottle. Somehow he manages to finish the second bottle more...

The Stock Market simply illustrated. .. is there a lesson here?
Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs20.
This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey let alone catch it.
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. more...

(May 1999, Thailand) A man known for his snake catching and charming skills was called to a neighbor's home. They needed an emergency exorcism of a python, which had invaded their dwelling. Hie, 55, rushed into the house in the northern provoke of Uttaradit, and emerged victorious with the snake held aloft in a burlap sack.

He was walking home with the snake, when villagers ran into him and asked to see the python. He pulled the snake from the sack and boldly wrapped it around his neck. The wild python, a five-foot-long coil of solid muscle, constricted around him and began to strangle him.

He screamed for help vainly, for the petrified villagers were afraid to approach the serpent. Within minutes, Hie fell to the ground dead. Local policemen forcibly unwrapped the snake from his neck and placed it in captivity.

One day, a cowboy rode into a Wild, Wild West town. The people in the town love to play jokes on visitors. After tying his horse to the pole outside a bar, the cowboy went in. "A cup of milk please." he said to the bartender. After drinking, he went out, only to find his horse missing. Knowing that the villagers did it, he went back into the bar and said to everybody," I am going to have another drink and when I finish it, I want to see my horse outside! Or else, I will have to do what I did in Texas - HERE!" The people were very frightened. When he finished his drink, he went outside and saw his horse. The villagers had put it back. Curious, the bartender asked the cowboy," What did you do in Texas?"
The Cowboy replied," Well, I had to walk home

A notorious tiger was on the prowl, terrorizing a village. So the villagers held a high level meeting to put down this tiger menace. A brave Sardarji stood up twisting his moustache and flexing his muscles, "I can tackle this maneater single-handed," he boasted. "Give me a cowhide and remember," he roared, "not a single soul should venture out tonight. Leave the rest to me." Now, disguised as a cow he stood as a bait waiting to ambush the tiger. Hours passed; suddenly the villagers heard someone screaming in great agony. They all dashed to the spot, only to find the Sardarji lying on the ground groaning and bleeding profusely. One of them asked the Sardarji, "What's the matter? Did you manage to kill the Tiger?" Already the villagers had begun shouting, "Sardarji jindabad, Sardarji jindabad."
"Stop, you idiots, traitors," he screamed. "Tell me first whose bull was it, whose bull was loose tonight!"