Virgil Jokes

Congressman Virgil Goode (R-Idiot-VA) sent out a letter to constituents that unless immigration is tightened, "many more Muslims" will be elected and will use the Koran at their ceremonial swearing-in.
Congressmen should be free to swear-in on books that reflect their deeply held beliefs. As a result, incoming representatives will now have their choice of swearing in on either the Bible, the Koran or a stack of back issues of Barely Legal.
You can tell Congessman Goode is an experienced politician. He was able to execute the difficult political maneuver of trashing both open immigration and religious freedom in one letter - a feat that earned him a 9.75 from the international panel of judges (after you throw out North Korea's high score of a perfect 10.0).

Memo to Congressman Goode: Last time we checked it's called The Statue of Liberty, not The Statue of Circumscribed Freedoms.

"Hello, is this the FBI?"
"Yes. What can I do for you?"
"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Virgil Smith. He is hiding
marijuana inside his firewood!"
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the FBI agents descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they split every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave. The phone rings at Virgil's house.
"Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they split your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Happy Birthday, buddy!"