Virgin Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a blonde?
A: She wouldn't have been old enough to bear children!

The hillbilly man and his new bride were on their honeymoon. The first night the hillbilly anxiously jumps into bed to wait for his wife to get herself ready for a little romance.

His new bride comes out of the bathroom in a sexy negligee and says "Honey, I have something to tell you. I'm a virgin."

The man grabs his clothes and rushes out of the house yelling at the top of his lungs. He heads straight to his father's house. When he gets there his father says "Son, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be on your honeymoon."

The son, almost out of breath from his run to the house says "Dad, my new wife told me a big secret of hers. She's a virgin!!!!"

"Damn son. You did the right thing by leaving. If she wasn't good enough for her family, she sure as hell isn't good enough for ours!"

A Marketing Manager got married to a woman who had previously been married eight times. On his wedding night, his wife informed him that she was still a virgin. This puzzled the Marketing Manager since after eight marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked his new bride to explain the phenomena.
Her comments were as follows,
"My first husband was a Sales Representative who spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, 'It's gonna be great!'
My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me documentation.
My third husband was from Field Service who constantly said that everything was diagnostically 'okay', but he just couldn't get the system up.
My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and he simply said, 'Those who can...do; Those who can't...teach.'
My fifth husband was from the Telemarketing more...

A Marketing Manager got married to a woman who had previously been married eight times. On his wedding night, his wife informed him that she was still a virgin. This puzzled the Marketing Manager since after eight marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked his new bride to explain the phenomena.Her comments were as follows,"My first husband was a Sales Representative who spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, 'It's gonna be great!'My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me documentation.My third husband was from Field Service who constantly said that everything was diagnostically 'okay', but he just couldn't get the system up.My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and he simply said, 'Those who can...do; Those who can't...teach.'My fifth husband was from the Telemarketing Department who said that he had the more...

In the middle of his honeymoon, the young hillbilly bridegroom left his bride back at the hotel and shows up at his parents house completely distraught. His father asks him, "Son, why you not with you bride on you honeymoon?"
The boy replies, "Daddy I was jus' gettin ready to love my bride when she tell me she want me to know she a virgin. So I come to ask what do I do?"
The father says, "Boy don' be tellin me you don' know what do wid a womin, specially a virgin.."
The boy says, "Daddy, course I knows what to do wid a woman, but dis be ma wife."
The father replies, "So what difference dis make?"
To which the son says, "Well daddy, I jus got to figure if she ain't good nuff for her own family she shore ain't good enough for ours!"

A young virgin, suffering from acute nervousness due to repressed desires, paid a visit to a highly recommended psychiatrist. The doctor took one look at the voluptuous maiden and lost all his professional objectivity. "Take off your clothes," he ordered, scarcely able to disguise the lust in his voice. "Now lie down on this couch. Now close your eyes and, very slowly, spell the word,' bedroom.' "
She began: "B. . . E. . . D. . . R. . . Oh!.. . Ohhhhhhhhhh. . . Mmmmmmmmmmm."
She was cured.

In the middle of his honeymoon, the young hillbilly bridegroom left his bride back at the hotel and shows up at his parents house completely distraught. His father asks him, "Son, why you not with you bride on you honeymoon?"The boy replies, "Daddy I was jus' gettin ready to love my bride when she tell me she want me to know she a virgin. So I come to ask what do I do?"The father says, "Boy don' be tellin me you don' know what do wid a womin, specially a virgin.."The boy says, "Daddy, course I knows what to do wid a woman, but dis be ma wife." The father replies, "So what difference dis make?" To which the son says, "Well daddy, I jus got to figure if she ain't good nuff for her own family she shore ain't good enough for ours!"