Virgin Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman had been married three times and was still a virgin. Someone asked her how that could possibly be.
"Well," she said, "my first marriage was to an octogenarian and he died before we could consummate it.
My second marriage was to a naval officer and war broke out on our wedding day.
My third marriage was to a Microsoft Windows programmer. All he would do was sit on the edge of the bed and tell me how good it was going to be."

A woman had been married three times and was still a virgin.
Somebody asked her how that could be possible.
"Well," she said. "The first time I married an octogenarian and he
died before we could consummate the marriage."
"The second time I married a naval officer and war broke out on our
wedding day."
"The third time I married a Microsoft Windows programmer and he just
sat on the edge of the bed and kept telling me how good it was going
to be."

A woman had been married three times and was still a virgin.Somebody asked her how that could be possible."Well," she said. "The first time I married an octogenarian and hedied before we could consummate the marriage.""The second time I married a naval officer and war broke out on ourwedding day.""The third time I married a Microsoft Windows programmer and he justsat on the edge of the bed and kept telling me how good it was goingto be."

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin. ”
“What? ” said the puzzled groom.
“How can that be if you’ve been married ten times? ”
“Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he more...

The hillbilly man and his new bride were on their honeymoon. The first night the hillbilly anxiously jumps into bed to wait for his wife to get herself ready for a little romance.
His new bride comes out of the bathroom in a sexy negligee and says "Honey, I have something to tell you. I'm a virgin."
The man grabs his clothes and rushes out of the house yelling at the top of his lungs. He heads straight to his father's house. When he gets there his father says "Son, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be on your honeymoon."
The son, almost out of breath from his run to the house says "Dad, my new wife told me a big secret of hers. She's a virgin!!!"
"Damn son. You did the right thing by leaving. If she wasn't good enough for her family, she sure as hell isn't good enough for ours!"

“Father, how am I going to tell my husband that I am still a virgin? ”
“My child, you have been a married woman for many years. You have had three husbands! Surely that cannot be. ”
“Well, father, my first husband was a psychologist, and all he wanted to do was talk, and the next one was in construction and he always said he’d get to it tomorrow. The last one was a gynecologist and all he did was look. But this time, father, I’m marrying a lawyer and I’m sure I’m going to get screwed. ”

The hillbilly man and his new bride were on their honeymoon. The first night the hillbilly anxiously jumps into bed to wait for his wife to get herself ready for a little romance.His new bride comes out of the bathroom in a sexy negligee and says "Honey, I have something to tell you. I'm a virgin."The man grabs his clothes and rushes out of the house yelling at the top of his lungs. He heads straight to his father's house. When he gets there his father says "Son, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be on your honeymoon."The son, almost out of breath from his run to the house says "Dad, my new wife told me a big secret of hers. She's a virgin!!!""Damn son. You did the right thing by leaving. If she wasn't good enough for her family, she sure as hell isn't good enough for ours!"