Virus Jokes / Recent Jokes
You have just received the Amish Virus.
Since we do not have electricity or computers, you are on the honor system.
Please delete all of your files.
Thank thee.
This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant. This program is known as - "Millennia Year Application Software System" (MYASS).
Next Monday, there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS.
We have not addressed networking aspects yet, so, currently, only, one person at a time can use MYASS. This restriction will be removed after MYASS expands.
Some employees have begun using the program already. This morning I walked into a subordinate's office and was not suprised to find that he had his nose buried in MYASS.
Some of the less technical people may be somewhat afraid of MYASS. Last week, my secretary said to me: "I'm a little nervous. I never put anything in MYASS before." I helped her through the first time and afterward she admitted that it was relatively more...
Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.
This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant. This program is known as - "Millennia Year Application Software System" (MYASS).Next Monday, there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS.We have not addressed networking aspects yet, so, currently, only, one person at a time can use MYASS. This restriction will be removed after MYASS expands.Some employees have begun using the program already. This morning I walked into a subordinate's office and was not suprised to find that he had his nose buried in MYASS.Some of the less technical people may be somewhat afraid of MYASS. Last week, my secretary said to me: "I'm a little nervous. I never put anything in MYASS before." I helped her through the first time and afterward she admitted that it was relatively painless and she was more...
Virus AlertThere is a very dangerous virus going around and it is propogated throughthe email system. If you get an email message with the subject: "VIRUSALERT!" do not open the mail message. If you do, the virus scramblesthe second half of every text file on your system. VERY IMPORTANT: If you do get this virus, the first thing dlkfjaiddfdjas nairb gfdq40wt yaj asdfsdg dluog av da[agj asdfajpg asdflasidffnm asd difvu asdfa vgoiae vdsofj we dasdf 9efm sd dag0 g adfjdl5gkj dkllj djf hsas9kaj kuieh nx3glkj gkdls kd li8siue ghkld hks1as dg 0vbwe ads gwefawe ads vewerwe dsf!
Is Windows a Virus? No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses (viri?) do: 1. They replicate quickly -- okay, Windows does that. 2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so -- okay, Windows does that. 3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk -- okay, Windows does that, too. 4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too. 5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with Windows, too. Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature. So, Windows is *not* a virus.
This is a true story.
One day Kara opened her e-mail account to start off the morning at work. there in her account sat fifteen e-mails.
choco_chip_ has sent you an e-mail
choco_chip_ has sent you an e-mail...
and so it went for another thirteen e-mails. The e-mails were jokes, blonde jokes.
Now Kara is a blonde herself. So when she saw these fifteen e-mails she cried out in horror.
OH NO!!! I HAVE A VIRUS!