Visiting Jokes / Recent Jokes

An American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide: "How large is the population here?" "Around 1.5 billion" -- the guide answers American, After a short pause: "So, what else do you do here?"

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. Ibn the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "when did you bag him?"

The host said, "that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife."

"What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter.

"My wife."

A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read: “Here lies John Smith, a lawyer and an honest man. ”
“How about that! ” he exclaimed. “They’ve got three people buried in one grave. ”

An American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide:"How large is the population here?""Around 1.5 billion" - the guide answersAmerican, After a short pause: "So, what else do you do here?"

MacAndrews was visiting his Irish cousin, OBannon. While there he decided to do a bit of fishing. As he sat there on afternoon, his cousin walked by."What are ye doing?" asked OBannon."Fishin," said MacAndrews."Caught anything?""Ach, nae a bite,""What are ye usin fer bait?""Worms""Let me see it," said OBannon. MacAndrews lifted the line from the water and handed it to his cousin. OBannon took out his flask of potcheen and dipped the worm in it. He handed it back to MacAndrews, who cast his line once more. As soon as the worm hit the water, his rod bent over double, the line screaming out."Have ye got a bite?" asked OBannon."No!" shouted MacAndrews, fighting with the rod, "The worms got a salmon by the throat!"

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stands up and offers "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy." "No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT." A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS." The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer. "What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, T HAT would be tragedy." "Wonderful!" Clinton more...

The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to ahot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, whopays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. "Where's mychange?" asks the Zen Master. The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."