Visitor Jokes / Recent Jokes

A visitor to the vatican met with the Pope and noticed a red phone sitting on his desk. What's that for?, he asked. "Oh, that's the direct line to the Lord" said the Pope.
The visitor said, "Wow, how much is a call?" The Pope answered, "$2,000 per minute."
A few days later the same visitor met the Israeli Prime Minister and noticed a red phone on his desk.
"What's that for?", he asked. "Oh, that's the direct line to the Lord" said the Prime Minister. The visitor asked "How much is a call?" The Prime Minister said "20 cents per minute."
The astonished visitor said, "It can't be. I just saw the Pope who said a call to the Lord is $2,000 per minute."
The Prime Minister answered, "That was long distance, here the Lord is just a local call."

A visitor from Pakistan was strolling in a park in New Delhi, India, enjoying the greenery and flowers. He needed to empty his bladder badly, but couldn't find a urinal anywhere.
He couldn't hold out any longer, and went behind a large bush. Just as he was undoing his fly buttons a policeman caught him. "What do you think you are doing?" asked the constable.
"I want to pee," replied the visitor. "I am from Pakistan and I don't know where to go. Please help me out."
The constable ordered, "OK, follow me. I'll show you a place with more greenery, flowers and bushes than this park. You can pee there as much as you like." He took the Pakistani to a greener and more beautiful garden where he emptied his bladder.
The Pakistani emptied his bladder, thanked the policeman and asked "Whose garden is this, it is so beautiful?"
The constable replied, "This is the garden of the Pakistani High Commission."

clever creatures
A visitor to Glacier National Park in Montana lost his car keys while attempting to lure a ground
squirrel by dangling the keys out in front of the critter. The squirrel grabbed the keys and ran down
a hole with them. The keys were never retrieved, a ranger cited the man for harassment of wildlife,
and a locksmith was called to make new car keys.
putting our loved ones at risk for a photo
In May of 1994, Tony Moore, 43, of Marietta, Georgia, was gored and seriously injured by a large male
bison in Yellowstone, next to the Lake Hotel. Moore and a friend had approached to within 15 feet of
the bison to have their pictures taken. While they were standing with their backs to the animal, it
charged. Moore's companion escaped, but Moore received a severe puncture wound in his right thigh and
was taken by ambulance to a hospital in Jackson for treatment.
watching for falling rocks
A visitor setting up camp at Lake more...