Vitamins Jokes / Recent Jokes

Take off the fourteen layers of clothing you put on this morning because there was a distinct chill in the air due to the temperature dropping below 73ºF.
Carefully fold each item, and place in clothes hamper.
Walk to bathroom. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh immediately.
Look at your womanly figure in the mirror, and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you¹re getting fat.
Position the shower nozzle pointing away from you, and turn on the water.
Get into the shower, once you have found it through all that steam.
Look for face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with Cucumber & Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again with Cucumber & Lamfrey Shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
Wash your hair once again (just to make sure) with Cucumber & Lamfrey Shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
Condition your more...

Bush Seeks Ban on Cartoon, Cereal, Vitamins

The ongoing campaign against alleged gay icons in animated cartoons continued today as president Bush demanded that television stations stop broadcasting "The Flintstones" at once.

Harland Devane, presidents Bush’s leader of the group Focus on the Flintstones, said at a press conference in Washington, D.C. today that his organization was issuing the demand because, "Quite simply, everything about' The Flintstones' is way too gay."

The conservative activist distributed a memo itemizing over fifty ways in which the self-styled "modern Stone Age family" series promotes homosexuality, but left little doubt that most of his concerns centered on the relationship between the two main characters, Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble.

"Their relationship is more flagrantly homosexual than anything in Oliver Stone's' Alexander,'" Mr. Devane said.

He pointed more...

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
Take off clothing and place in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
Look at your womanly physique in mirror and stick out gut so you can complain and whine even more about getting fat.
Get in shower.
Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
Condition hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil.
Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw.
Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as more...

BEPPO SINGH NEEDS VITAMINS FOR GRANDSON.
Beppo Singh: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Beppo Singh: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red and raw.
9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair (take more...

Like A Woman
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to bathroom.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw.
Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes more...

How To Shower Like a Woman
How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband
along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so
that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
vitamins.
Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
vitamins.
Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with
natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red
and raw.
Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut more...