Vow Jokes / Recent Jokes
30> Given an infinite number of geeks in an infinite number of "Star Trek" conventions, would there be at least one with a life?
29> Why is Pauly Shore so successful, while a deserving and talented actor like Tom Arnold is still struggling?
28> Ask not for whom the bell tolls. Ask why Bell charges so much for toll calls.
27> Can God make Marlon Brando so big that even He can't move him?
26> If you could go back in time, would you give Hitler a wedgie?
25> The sky's just BLUE, dammit! Get over it!
24> If you sell a video explaining how you didn't kill your ex-wife and her male friend and no one buys it, does it make a sound?
23> What will I have for lunch today -- chicken salad or egg salad?
22> How much cheese could Chuck E. Cheese chuck if Chuck E. Cheese could chuck cheese?
21> Yeah, where the hell *is* Waldo?
20> If a monk, living in a monastery, takes a vow of more...
A man joins a Tibetan temple. He takes a vow of silence but is allowed to say two words every year. After an arduous 12 months of eating rice, sleeping on a wooden bed with a raggedy blanket, and working 14-hour days in the field, the man goes to the head monk and says, “More blankets. ”
Another year passes, and he visits the head monk and says, “More food. ” The man goes through one more year eating good meals and sleeping well, but he’s drained by the long days of work. He calls on the head monk and uses his two words to say, “I’m leaving. ”
“Good, ” the head monk replies. “You’ve done nothing but bitch since you got here. ”
At a monastery high in the mountains, the monks have a rigid vow
of silence. Only at Christmas, and only by one monk, and only
with one sentence, is the vow allowed to be broken.
One Christmas, Brother Thomas is allowed to speak and he says, "I
like the mashed potatoes we have with the Christmas turkey!" and
he sits down. Silence ensues for 365 days.
The next Christmas, Brother Michael gets his turn, and he says "I
think the mashed potatoes are lumpy and I hate them!"
Once again, silence for 366 days (it's leap year). The following
Christmas, Brother Paul rises and says, "I am fed up with this
constant bickering!"
At a monastery high in the mountains, the monks have a rigid vow of silence. Only at Christmas, and only by one monk, and only with one sentence, is the vow allowed to be broken.
One Christmas, Brother Thomas is allowed to speak and he says, "I like the mashed potatoes we have with the Christmas turkey!" and he sits down. Silence ensues for 365 days.
The next Christmas, Brother Michael gets his turn, and he says "I think the mashed potatoes are lumpy and I hate them!"
Once again, silence for 366 days (it's leap year). The following Christmas, Brother Paul rises and says, "I am fed up with this constant bickering!"