365 Jokes

What to say to a telemarketer! One of the things that has always bugged me (and I'm sure it has most of you, too) is to sit down to dinner only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating to them as they were to me. The call was from AT&T, and it went something like this: Me: HelloAT&T: Hello, this is AT&T.... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T.... Me: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes. This is AT&T.... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: YES! This is AT&T. May I speak to Mr. Salem please? Me: May I ask who is calling? AT&T: This is AT&T. Me: OK, hold on. At this point, I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, she was still waiting. Me: Hello? AT&T: Is this Mr. Salem? Me: May I ask who is calling please? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T.... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T.... Me: This is AT&T? more...

Everybody knows that 365 is the number of days in a year, Stephen Hawking's I. Q. and Gary Sober's highest score in Tests. But there's more to 365 than these pieces of statistical value, as you will find when you read that

365 IS ALSO THE. . .
Number of times that P. V. Narasimha Rao has bothered to smile in his entire life.
Number of ideas in Shekhar Suman's' Movers and Shakers' that are directly ripped-off from Jay Leno's' Tonight Show'.
Number of people in India who have not seen Madhuri Dixit's navel.
Number of issues of "Indian Express", in a year, that feature stories with weird, sensational headlines like "Dog Eats Car", "Girl jumps 11, 463 feet" or "Aliens found in Domino's Pizza carton".
Average monthly salary of an employee at Asian Jokes Online.
Number of incredibly stupid public statements made by Laloo Prasad Yadav every month.
Total number of pointless, green flyovers that Chennai will more...

One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer.
I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went something like this: (swallowing)
Me: Hello
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
Me: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes This is AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please?
Me: May I ask who is calling?
AT&T: This is AT&T.
Me: OK, hold on.
At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.
Me: Hello?
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
Me: May I ask who is calling please?
AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
Me: Is more...

A man and wife are in the livestock section at the county fair.
They happen upon a stall, where there is a large bull.
Upon reading the sign posted by the stall, the wife exclaims:
"Look here dear! It says this bull mated 365 times last year! That's once per day! I think you need to take some lessons from this bull."
To which her husband replied: "Go ask the farmer if all 365 times were with the same cow."

At a remote monastery deep in the woods, the monks followed a rigid vow of silence. This vow could only be broken once a year on Christmas, by one monk, and the monk could speak only one sentence.

One Christmas, Brother Thomas had his turn to speak and said, "I love the delightful mashed potatoes we have every year with the Christmas roast!" Then he sat down. Silence ensued for 365 days.

The next Christmas, Brother Michael got his turn, and said, "I think the mashed potatoes are lumpy and I truly despise them!" Once again, silence ensued for 365 days.

The following Christmas, Brother Paul rose and said, "I am fed up with this constant bickering!"