Waiter Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Chinese waiter had a particular customer who constantly made fun of his accent. Usually ordering Flied Lice and then laughing.
The waiter became upset and decided to end the joke. He practiced constantly in front of the mirror until he could say, fried rice.
Next time the man came in he said, "What is good on the menu today?"
The waiter replied, "_F_r_i_e_d_ _r_i_c_e_, you plick."

Customer: Waiter, I found a hair in my turtle soup. Waiter: How about that! The turtle and the hare finally got together.

Waiter, waiter, this coffee tastes like mud.
I'm not surprised, sir, it was ground only a few minutes ago.

Customer: Waiter, look at this chicken! It's nothing but skin and bones. Waiter: Would you like the feathers, too?

Patron: Hey, theres a fly in my soup! Waiter: Why are you complaining? Isnt it cooked?

Customer: Waiter, there's a button in my salad. Waiter: It must have come off while the salad was dressing.

Waiter, waiter! There's a cockroach on my steak.
They don't seem to care what they eat, do they, sir?