Waiter Jokes / Recent Jokes

A panda walked into a bar. He went up to the bar and said "I'd like a steak and kidney pie and a Coke please" so the barman took his order and the panda went to sit down. Soon a waiter brought over his meal. The panda ate it up, thanked and tipped the waiter and paid the bill. All this seemed pretty normal until the panda pulled out a gun from the depths of his fur, pulled the trigger and BANG! shot the waiter. The barman came over and said "Wha.. wh.. You just shot my friend!!!"the panda calmly replied "Do you know what I am?" "Why yes," the barman answered. "Your a panda." "Good," the panda nodded "Now go home and look up' panda' in the dictionary." And with that, the panda walked out of the bar. The barman was a little unsure, however he was very eager to be enlighted on the subject of his friend's murder, so he went home to find his dictionary. After a while, he found' panda' and quickly read the definition: more...

Customer: Why doesn't your menu list prices? Waiter: We didn't want to make you sick before the food does.

Customer: Why don't you eat here, waiter? Waiter: Serving it is bad enough, I don't want to compound the felony.

Customer: Why don't you have doggie bags? Waiter: That would be cruelty to animals.

A jewish family walks into a asian restaurant. the little jewish son says to his dad, daddy what kind of jews are there? and the father goes well there a european jews, muslim jews, all kinds of jews son. and the little boy goes are there asian jews? so the father calls the waiter over and says sir would you happen to know if there are asian jews? and the waiter goes i will be right back, when he comes back he goes no sir we have apple jews and orange jews.

Customer: Why is this sandwich half eaten? Waiter: I didn't have time to finish it.

When my husband and I showed up at a very popular restaurant, it was crowded. I went up to the hostess and asked, "Will it be long?" The hostess, ignoring me, kept writing in her book. I asked again, "How much
of a wait?" The woman looked up from her book and said, "About ten minutes." A short time later, we heard an announcement over the
loudspeaker: "Willette B. Long, your table is ready."