Waiter Jokes / Recent Jokes
A panda walks into a restaurant. The waiter takes his order.
When the order is ready, the waiter takes it to the panda.
The panda eats the meal pulls out a gun, shoots the waiter and runs out of the restaurant.
The owner of the restaurant goes running after the panda.
When the owner finally catches up with the panda,
he asks why he shot the waiter? The panda tells the owner to look up panda in the dictionary. The owner goes back to the restaurant and looks up panda in the dictionary.
Under panda it said:
Eats shoots and leaves.
Customer: How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered? Waiter: Well, you know how slow turtles are.
A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.
"Are you crazy" yelled the customer, "sticking your thumb in my steak?!"
"What" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"
I took some clients out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd, but I dismissed it as a random thing. Until our busboy came with water and tableware; he too, sported a spoon in his breast pocket. I looked around the room, and all the waiters and busboys had spoons in their pockets. When our waiter returned to take our order, I just had to ask, "Why the spoons?"
"Well," he explained, "our parent company recently hired some Andersen Consulting efficiency experts to review all our procedures, and after months of statistical analyses, they concluded that our patrons drop spoons on the floor 73% more often than any other utensil, at a frequency of 3 spoons per hour per workstation. By preparing our workers for this contingency in advance, we can cut our trips to the kitchen down and save time... nearly 1.5 extra man-hours per shift." Just as he concluded, a more...
Customer: I thought the meals here were supposed to be like mother used to make. Waiter: They are. She couldn't cook either.