Walkin Jokes / Recent Jokes

Think of the beat of the song walking in a winter wonderland while you are reading this...
Lacy things - the wife is missin',
Didn't ask - her permission,
I'm wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
In the store - there's a teddy,
Little straps - like spaghetti,
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say,"Whoa, Man!"
"Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress - like Madonna,
Put on some eyeshade,
And join the parade,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!
Lacy things... missin',
Didn't ask... permission,
Wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' more...

GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER
by Irish Rovers (1986?)
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.
When they found her Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.
Grandma go run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
Now were all so proud of Grandpa,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.
It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family's dressed in black.
And more...

Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear(to be sung to "Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland")Lacy things - the wife is missin, Didn't ask - her permission, I'm wearin' her clothes, Her silk pantyhose, Walkin' round in women's underwear. In the store - there's a teddy, Little straps - like spaghetti, It holds me so tight, Like handcuffs at night, Walkin' round in women's underwear. In the office there's a guy named Marvin, He pretends that I am Murphy Brown. He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say, "Whoa, Man!""Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"Later on, if you wanna, We can dress - like Madonna, Put on some eyeshade, And join the parade, Walkin' round in women's underwear!

To be sung to the tune of Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland Lacy things - the girlfriend's missin',
Didn't ask - her permission,
I'm wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' round in women's underwear.
In the store - there's a teddy,
Little straps - like spaghetti,
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night,
Walkin' round in women's underwear.
In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say, "Are you ready?" We'll say,"Whoa, Man!"
"Let's wait until our women are out of town!"
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress - like Madonna,
Put on some eyeshade,
And join the parade,
Walkin' round in women's underwear!
Lacy things - the girlfriend's missin',
Didn't ask - her permission,
I'm wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' round in women's underwear,
Walkin' round in women's more...

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.
When they found her Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.

Grandma go run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now were all so proud of Grandpa,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.
It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but more...

In the world of Real Estate, there are some pretty strange things on the printouts from our local Multiple Listings Service -- descriptions of properties for sale in our area. A typo here, missed punctuation there or just plain bad phrasing can change the entire meaning of a' sales pitch'.
Here are some examples:"Three bedroom one bath fireplace.""Room for horses, cowchickens.""Back of home faces eighteen home championship golf course.""New art-deco bath & more. Near everything. Kitchen curtains do not say.""House backs up to one year round creek." (Big creek!)"Walkin pantry." (Where's it walkin' to?)"Country home with 2nd unit. Horse set up extra garage." (That's one SMART
horse!)"Five bedroom septic. Owners anxious." (I bet!)"Septic built for granny." (What a nice family.)"Huge veranda for those balby summer evenings." (Love those balby evenings, don't you?)