Permission Jokes

The thinker.
After months of negotiation, Avraham, a Jewish scholar from Odessa, was granted permission to visit Moscow.
He boarded the train and sat down. At the next stop a young man got on and sat next to him. Avraham looked at the young man and thought, This fellow doesn`t look like a peasant, and if he isn`t a peasant he probably comes from this area. If he comes from this area, he must be Jewish because this is, after all, a Jewish area. On the other hand, if he is a Jew, where could he be going?
I`m the only one from our area to be allowed to travel to Moscow.
Wait - just outside Moscow there is a little village called Samvet, and you don`t need special permission to go there.
But why would he be going to Samvet? He`s probably going to visit one of the Jewish families there, but how many Jewish families are there in Samvet? Only two - the Bernsteins and the Steinbergs. The Bernsteins are a terrible family, so he must be visiting the Steinbergs.
But more...

Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play -- normally one club and two balls.

Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole.

For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft.

Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

Course owners reserve the right to restrict the length of the club to avoid damage to the hole.

The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete.

Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course.

The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course, with special attention to well formed more...

Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one
club and two balls.
Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and
keep the balls out.
For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course
owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid
damage to the hole.
Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until
the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result
in being denied permission to play again.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately
upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire
the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and
bunkers.
Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have
played or are currently playing more...

To be sung to the tune of Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland Lacy things - the girlfriend's missin',
Didn't ask - her permission,
I'm wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' round in women's underwear.
In the store - there's a teddy,
Little straps - like spaghetti,
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night,
Walkin' round in women's underwear.
In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say, "Are you ready?" We'll say,"Whoa, Man!"
"Let's wait until our women are out of town!"
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress - like Madonna,
Put on some eyeshade,
And join the parade,
Walkin' round in women's underwear!
Lacy things - the girlfriend's missin',
Didn't ask - her permission,
I'm wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' round in women's underwear,
Walkin' round in women's more...

A young member of the German communist party went to his senior comrade with a strange request: he wanted permission from the Party to emigrate to West Germany. (It is only with the permission of the Party that people are allowed to leave East Germany. Often it is "granted`` as a method of eliminating people with inappropriate attitudes.)
"For what reasons could you possibly want to leave the Socialist paradise, young comrade?"
"Well, sir, I have a main reason, and a kind of side reason. The side reason is this: I know our Party has established a paradise here in the Democratic Republic, but the reason I want to leave is that I am very afraid that it will not last."
"Don`t worry, son! It will last for ever."
"Well, good, sir: but that brings me to my main reason...."